If you’re a high achieving mom like me, you know all too well what it’s like to balance the demands of motherhood with your natural instincts to do more. Motherhood is soft, requires patience and calm, and is 24/7 non-stop. This goes against pretty much everything about the rigidity and type-A planning principles that rule our lives as ambitious women.
As someone who has gone through the transformation myself, I can proudly and confidently say that it is not only possible to change so you thrive in the slowness and craziness of motherhood, but it also will make you a more well-rounded and fulfilled person.
I thought I’d “lose” a part of me by slowing down as a mom, but the opposite is true. I still have the high achieving part of me AND I have a new part of me that’s calm, patient, and grounded.
If you’re a high achieving mom who wants to thrive and become your best self in motherhood, I got you. The tools below will help you expand. Instead of “letting go,” you’ll be “adding to.” And with that, let’s dive in!
1. Mindset Shifts
The first tool to becoming your best self as a high-achieving mom is to master the power of mindset shifts. It’s easy to get stuck in the hustle mentality where you feel like you have to do more, be more, and achieve more to be worthy. But motherhood requires a different approach, one that challenges our natural tendencies to push, control, and micromanage every detail.
To thrive in motherhood, it’s essential to embrace the idea that being “busy” or constantly productive isn’t a measure of your success or value. Instead of focusing on doing more, it’s about aligning your mindset with what truly matters—your well-being, your family, and your sense of fulfillment. For me, one of the biggest shifts was moving from the belief that “slowing down equals failure” to understanding that “slowing down creates space for growth.”
Here are a few key mindset shifts that helped me:
- Shift from perfection to progress: Let go of the idea that everything has to be perfect. Progress is more important than perfection, especially in motherhood where the unexpected happens all the time. Celebrate your wins, however small, and give yourself grace when things don’t go as planned.
- Shift from control to connection: As high-achieving women, we love control. But motherhood teaches us that we can’t control everything. Instead of focusing on controlling every outcome, prioritize connection with your children, your partner, and yourself. This shift allows you to be more present and responsive, not reactive, in your relationships.
- Shift from self-sacrifice to self-empowered: It’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that motherhood is happening to you (I’ve been there!). Shifting your mindset to focus on what you can control puts the power back in your hands. Rather than seeing yourself as a victim to the constant demands of motherhood, step into the role of creator in your own life. Ask yourself: What choices can I make? What boundaries can I set? How can I structure my days to feel more in control and aligned with my values? When you approach motherhood from a place of empowerment, you stop reacting and start intentionally shaping your life.
- Shift from “either-or” thinking to “both-and” thinking: You don’t have to choose between being a great mom and being successful in your career or other passions. You can be both. Motherhood doesn’t diminish your drive, it enhances it by giving you a new perspective on what truly matters.
These mindset shifts are essential for unlocking your potential and becoming the best version of yourself as both a mom and a high achiever. Once you start to shift how you think about your roles and responsibilities, you’ll notice how much more balance, joy, and fulfillment you experience.
Mindset Resources:
- 10 Mindset Mantras (download)
- How To Stop Negative Thinking (podcast)
- Cognitive Distortions Class (membership)
- How Mindset Has Changed My Life As A Mom (blog post)
- 10 Mindset Shifts For Moms (podcast)
- Victim Mentality In Motherhood (blog post)
- Mom On Purpose Free Course (download)
- 25 Mindset Tips For Moms (blog post)
- How To Have An Empowered Mindset (podcast)
- Mantras For The Mental Load Of Motherhood (blog post)
- How To Let Go Of Negative Thinking And Reprogram Your Mind For Positive Thinking (blog post)
2. Planning And Time Management Techniques
As a high-achieving mom, managing your time effectively is crucial to thriving in both motherhood and your personal goals. With so many demands pulling at you, having a solid plan in place ensures you can stay on top of your priorities without feeling overwhelmed or scattered. That’s where time blocking and a flexible approach to planning come in—two of my favorite techniques for getting things done while still maintaining your sanity!
Time Blocking with Google Calendar
Time blocking is one of the most effective tools for productivity, and I swear by it. The idea is simple: you assign specific tasks or results to different blocks of time on your calendar. This isn’t just for appointments or meetings—you can time block everything from work projects to self-care to family time. By doing this, you create structure in your day and ensure that you’re spending your time on what matters most.
Here’s how I use time blocking:
- Set appointments and fixed activities first: Start by adding in non-negotiables like work hours, school drop-offs, or appointments. These are the pillars of your schedule that can’t be moved.
- Block time for results, not just tasks: Instead of just listing “work on project” in a block, be specific about the outcome you want to achieve during that time. For example, “complete the first draft of the presentation” or “prep for the client meeting.” This keeps you focused on results and helps you use your time more effectively.
- Include time for yourself: Whether it’s exercise, reading, or simply resting, make sure to block out time just for you. It’s easy to fill your calendar with everyone else’s needs, but it’s essential to schedule time for your own growth and well-being.
The Flex Time List
Even with the best planning, motherhood is full of surprises. Some days go completely off track, and that’s where the Flex Time List comes in. It’s a list of tasks or activities that don’t have a specific time block but can be done in the little cracks of your day—while waiting for your kids at practice, during nap time, or in between meetings. I recommend keeping under five items on any given day for your Flex Time List.
By combining time blocking with a Flex Time List, you create a system that balances structure and flexibility. This allows you to stay focused on your main goals while also having the freedom to handle the curveballs of motherhood without feeling like you’re falling behind. It’s all about making the most of your time and giving yourself the grace to adapt when needed.
Planning And Time Management Resources:
- Daily Planning Tips For Busy Moms Of Young Kids: My Proven Routine (blog post)
- 20 Tools To Become The Mom You WANT To Be (download)
- How To Plan Better As A Mom (podcast)
- The Best Planning Tips For Busy Moms (blog post)
3. Purposeful Self-Care
As a high-achieving mom, you might think of self-care as something extra—something to squeeze in when you have time. But purposeful self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s essential for you to show up as your best self in every area of your life.
Purposeful self-care is about making intentional choices that recharge you physically, mentally, and emotionally. It’s not just about spa days or long baths (though those are great!); it’s about caring for yourself in ways that align with your goals and values.
Here’s how you can practice purposeful self-care:
- Schedule it: Just like with time blocking, make self-care non-negotiable. Whether it’s 30 minutes for exercise, a walk, or journaling, put it on your calendar so it’s a priority. If it’s on your schedule, you’re more likely to follow through.
- Focus on what fuels you: Think about activities that leave you feeling energized or centered. This could be reading, working on a passion project, or spending intentional time with your loved ones.
- Honor your limits: Self-care also means respecting your boundaries. Know when to say no to protect your energy, and give yourself permission to rest without guilt.
Purposeful self-care isn’t just about relaxation; it’s about aligning your actions with the future you want to create. By taking care of yourself, you ensure you can continue thriving in both motherhood and your personal ambitions.
Self-Care Resources:
- A Beginner’s Guide To Wellness For Moms (blog post)
- 75 Journal Prompts For Moms (download)
- The Pressure To Do It All (podcast)
- Self Care Tools For Moms That Actually Work (blog post)
4. Psychology-Based Parenting Strategies
Motherhood isn’t just about juggling schedules and managing chaos; it’s also about raising emotionally healthy and confident children. Psychology-based parenting strategies give you the tools to connect with your kids while maintaining boundaries and respect. These strategies not only help your children thrive but also create a more peaceful and fulfilling parenting experience for you.
Here are some of the key psychology-based strategies that will help you become the best version of yourself as a mom:
1. Holding Boundaries
As a high-achieving mom, you understand the importance of structure, but in parenting, it’s not just about rules—it’s about setting and maintaining healthy boundaries with love. Holding boundaries teaches your kids what is acceptable behavior while helping them feel safe. When you establish clear expectations and stick to them, your children learn self-discipline and respect for others.
For example, if your child is upset because they don’t want to leave the park, you can empathize with their feelings while still holding firm on the boundary. “I know it’s hard to leave when you’re having fun, but it’s time to go. We can come back tomorrow.” This balance between empathy and firmness teaches them that boundaries aren’t punishments—they are part of caring for themselves and others.
2. Validating Feelings
It’s essential for your child to feel heard and understood. Validating their feelings helps them develop emotional intelligence and resilience. When you acknowledge their emotions, even when you don’t agree with the behavior, you show them that all feelings are acceptable—even the tough ones.
A simple, “I see that you’re really frustrated right now, and that’s okay,” goes a long way in helping your child feel safe to express their emotions. This builds trust and opens up the space for communication without shame or fear of judgment.
3. Showing Respect
Respect isn’t just something you demand from your kids—it’s something you model for them. By treating your child with respect, you teach them how to respect others. This means listening to their opinions, giving them choices when possible, and showing appreciation for their efforts.
For example, if your child makes a mistake, approach them with understanding rather than anger. “I see you’re having a hard time with this. How can I help you figure it out?” This approach shows them that their worth isn’t tied to perfection but to effort and growth.
4. Leading with Curiosity
Curiosity is a powerful tool in parenting. Instead of jumping to conclusions or reacting out of frustration, take a moment to get curious about your child’s behavior. Asking questions like, “What made you feel that way?” or “Why did you choose to do that?” helps you understand the underlying emotions and motivations driving their actions.
Leading with curiosity fosters open communication and helps your child feel safe to share their thoughts and feelings. It also shifts your mindset from trying to control their behavior to understanding their needs and guiding them through challenges with compassion.
5. Repairing Mistakes
No one is perfect—not you and not your kids. Part of effective parenting is being able to repair when things go wrong. If you lose your temper or make a decision that wasn’t helpful, owning up to it and repairing the relationship teaches your children that it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as you take responsibility for them.
A simple, “I’m sorry for yelling earlier. I was feeling frustrated, but that’s not how I want to speak to you,” can help rebuild trust and show your kids how to handle their own mistakes.
Using these psychology-based strategies helps you foster a strong connection with your children while setting them up for success in their emotional and social development. They also create a parenting style that’s rooted in respect, empathy, and growth, which will make your experience of motherhood more fulfilling and aligned with the best version of yourself.
Parenting Resources:
- How To Be A More Patient Mom: Overcoming Guilt And Frustration (blog post)
- 200 Affirmations For Kids (download)
- How To Validate Your Kids Feelings (podcast)
- 40 Of The Best Parenting Tips (blog post)
- Whining And Complaining In Kids (podcast)
- 15 Phrases To Use When Your Child Doesn’t Listen (blog post)
- When You Don’t Like Playing With Your Kids (podcast)
- Tantrum Guide: How To Stay Calm And Help Your Kids (download)
- How To Teach A Growth Mindset To Kids (blog post)
5. Marriage Practices To Increase Connection
Being a high-achieving mom often means juggling countless responsibilities, and it’s easy for your marriage to take a backseat in the busyness of life. But nurturing your relationship with your partner is essential—not just for your marriage, but for creating a harmonious, connected family environment. Strong marriages aren’t built on grand gestures but on everyday practices that foster trust, communication, and intimacy.
Here are some key practices to help you strengthen your connection with your partner, even in the midst of motherhood:
1. Prioritize Quality Time Together
When life gets hectic, quality time with your partner is often the first thing to go. But spending intentional time together is vital for maintaining intimacy and connection. You don’t need to plan extravagant date nights (though those are nice!); even 15 minutes of focused, uninterrupted conversation can make a difference.
Try to schedule regular check-ins, whether it’s a quick morning coffee together or a 10-minute chat before bed. Use this time to talk about how you’re feeling, your goals, or even just to laugh and unwind together. The key is to be present—put the phones away and engage fully with each other.
2. Communicate Openly and Honestly
Communication is the foundation of a healthy marriage, especially when balancing parenthood. Open, honest communication allows you and your partner to express feelings, resolve conflicts, and prevent resentment from building up. Don’t assume your partner knows what you’re thinking or feeling—be direct, but kind, when sharing your needs.
One helpful practice is scheduling a weekly or bi-weekly “relationship meeting,” where you both share what’s going well and what could be improved. This helps clear up any misunderstandings, reset expectations, and address any issues before they grow into bigger problems.
3. Practice Gratitude and Appreciation
It’s easy to fall into the habit of taking each other for granted, especially when you’re caught up in the daily grind. Make it a point to express appreciation regularly. Whether it’s thanking your partner for doing the dishes or recognizing their hard work, verbalizing your gratitude can significantly strengthen your bond.
Small moments of appreciation build a sense of teamwork and make both of you feel valued. A simple, “I see how hard you’re working, and I’m grateful for everything you do for us,” goes a long way in maintaining emotional intimacy.
4. Be Intentional About Physical Affection
Physical touch is a powerful way to reconnect, especially in long-term relationships where it can sometimes get overlooked. Small gestures of affection—holding hands, a hug in the kitchen, or a kiss goodbye—help maintain that sense of closeness, even when you’re both tired from a long day.
Make an effort to prioritize intimacy, even if it’s just snuggling on the couch or holding hands during a walk. These small acts remind you both of the connection that brought you together in the first place.
5. Support Each Other’s Growth
As high-achieving individuals, it’s important that both you and your partner feel supported in your personal and professional growth. A healthy marriage allows both partners to pursue their passions while also being present for each other.
Talk openly about your goals, dreams, and challenges, and find ways to support each other in achieving them. Whether it’s giving your partner time to work on a project or offering encouragement in a tough moment, being their biggest supporter strengthens your bond.
6. Repair and Forgive
No marriage is without conflict, but what matters most is how you handle it. When disagreements arise, make an effort to repair the relationship and forgive quickly. This doesn’t mean sweeping things under the rug; it means working through issues with empathy and a shared commitment to finding solutions.
Use disagreements as opportunities for growth. After the dust settles, ask, “What can we learn from this, and how can we improve next time?” By doing this, you create a marriage where conflict leads to deeper understanding, not disconnection.
Building a strong marriage doesn’t happen overnight, and it certainly doesn’t come without effort. But by practicing these daily habits—making time for each other, communicating openly, showing appreciation, and growing together—you can cultivate a relationship that thrives in both the calm and the chaos of motherhood. After all, a connected marriage isn’t just good for you; it sets the foundation for a happy, loving family life.
Marriage Resources:
- Marriage Mindset During Motherhood (podcast)
- Marriage Toolkit (membership)
- Marriage Tools For Success (podcast)
- 7 Ways To Keep The Spark Alive After Having Kids (blog post)
- Overcoming Resentment Towards Your Husband (podcast)
- Positive Marriage Mindset Tips To Increase Connection (blog post)
6. Mindfulness And Calming Exercises
As a high-achieving mom, your mind is often running at full speed—managing tasks, solving problems, and thinking ahead. While this drive is a strength, it can also lead to burnout if you’re always in “go” mode. Incorporating mindfulness and calming exercises into your routine can help you reset, slow down, and find peace in the midst of motherhood’s chaos.
Mindfulness is about being fully present in the moment, without judgment or distraction. It’s a powerful way to center yourself when things feel overwhelming and to bring more intention to your day. Whether you’re in the middle of a busy morning or winding down in the evening, practicing mindfulness helps you reconnect with yourself, calm your mind, and create a sense of inner peace.
Here are a few simple ways to bring mindfulness and calming exercises into your day:
- Deep breathing: When you feel stress building up, pause and take a few deep, intentional breaths. Focus on your inhale and exhale, counting slowly as you breathe in and out. This simple act of conscious breathing helps calm your nervous system and gives you space to reset.
- Grounding exercises: If you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed, grounding exercises can help bring you back to the present moment. Try focusing on your five senses: What can you see, hear, touch, smell, and taste right now? This practice draws your attention away from racing thoughts and into the here and now.
- Body scans: Set aside a few minutes to do a body scan, where you mentally check in with each part of your body, from head to toe. Notice where you’re holding tension and consciously relax those areas. This is a great way to release stress and become more aware of how your body is feeling throughout the day.
- Mindful walking: If you’re out for a walk, use it as an opportunity to practice mindfulness. Focus on the rhythm of your steps, the feeling of the ground beneath you, and the sounds around you. Walking mindfully, even for just a few minutes, can help clear your mind and center your thoughts.
- Gratitude practice: At the end of each day, take a moment to reflect on what you’re grateful for. This can be as simple as appreciating a small win or a peaceful moment. Cultivating gratitude shifts your focus from what’s lacking to what’s abundant in your life, creating a sense of calm and contentment.
Mindfulness doesn’t require hours of meditation or perfect silence. It’s about finding moments throughout your day to slow down, breathe, and reconnect with yourself. These small, intentional pauses help you manage stress and bring more peace into your life, no matter how busy or demanding things may be.
Mindfulness And Calm Resources:
- My Journey To Finding Calm And Balance In Motherhood (blog post)
- 3 Steps To Reduce Anxiety (free class)
- How To Stop Yelling (podcast)
- Calm Your Mind Worksheet (download)
- Mindfulness For Moms: The Ultimate Resource Guide (blog post)
- How To Calm Down (podcast)
- The Top 10 Mindfulness Practices I Use In Everyday Life (blog post)
7. Future Self Goal Setting
One of the most powerful tools you can use to grow as a high-achieving mom is to start setting goals with your future self in mind. Instead of focusing on what you can accomplish in the short term or getting caught up in daily to-do lists, think about who you want to become. What does the best version of you look like a year, five years, or ten years from now? Future self-goal setting is about aligning your actions today with the vision of the person you’re working toward.
When you picture your future self, ask yourself questions like:
- What kind of mom am I?
- What are my values, and how do I live them out daily?
- How do I spend my time, and what does my life look and feel like?
This approach shifts the focus from ticking off tasks to embodying the person you want to be. It’s less about checking boxes and more about making decisions that are in alignment with your future self’s desires, values, and identity.
To set these goals, begin by getting clear on your vision. Visualize your future self and identify what she has accomplished, how she feels, and how she spends her time. Once you have a clear picture, break it down into smaller, actionable steps that will move you toward that version of yourself. This might mean setting personal, professional, or parenting goals that stretch you while also honoring your current season of life.
Keep in mind, goal setting for your future self isn’t just about the outcome. It’s about the process of becoming. Each small step you take in alignment with your future self brings you closer to the life you want. It’s about focusing on growth, not perfection, and allowing space for flexibility as your goals evolve.
One helpful tip is to use identity statements like, “I am a calm, present mom,” or “I am a strong, healthy woman.” These statements remind you of the future self you are working toward and guide your daily choices. When faced with decisions, you can ask, “What would my future self do?” This simple shift brings clarity and purpose to your actions, making goal setting feel empowering instead of overwhelming.
By focusing on who you want to become and setting goals with that vision in mind, you create a roadmap that leads you toward your best self. And the best part? Each step forward builds confidence and helps you align your life with the values and future you truly desire.
Future Self And Goal Setting Resources:
- How To Live A Purpose-Driven Life As A Mom: Simple Strategies (blog post)
- Purpose Driven Motherhood (podcast)
- Becoming Her (podcast)
- Mom On Purpose Free Course (download)
- Intentional Motherhood: How To Start And Five Steps To Take (blog post)
- Future Self Journaling Course (membership)
A Final Note
Becoming your best self as a high achieving mom isn’t about running from your humanness. It’s not about trying to change your internal goodness. It’s about working on yourself from a place of approval, love, and support. You are a GOOD mom inside. Nothing can change that. And also, there are tools that can help you take different actions, feel better, and create results you want. That’s what this work is all about. It’s changed my life in the most incredible ways, and I’m so grateful to do this work along side you! Join me inside Mom On Purpose to take all this to the next level.