If you would’ve told me I’d be able to relax, rest, and play without needing to finish something from my to-do list, I never would’ve believed you! I was always naturally Type-A, career oriented, and in my more masculine energy. My careers as both a lawyer and CFP are evidence of just that. But what served me well in my career, I found unhelpful in my personal life as wife and mom. That’s when I decided to do the work to transform my life to go from Type-A to more easy-going. From masculine to feminine. From not being able to sit down and just chill to someone who easily relaxes whenever she wants.
If you’re someone who naturally gravitates towards to the more “doer” energy and always feels like there’s something to get done, this post is made from my heart to yours.
Being A Career-Driven Woman AND Wanting To Be A Mom
While I always focused on academics and achievement, I also always wanted to be a mom (even if it was in the back seat for a while!). My desire never wavered. But what I realized as an attorney and CFP was that I was so focused on my career that I hadn’t built the skills to create the family I wanted. Because my desire to get married and have kids was so strong, I went on a journey to really expand my capacity to be more feminine. It is one of the journeys I’m most proud of to this day!
The Struggles of Letting Go: Transitioning From Type-A To Patient Mom
The transition from a high-powered career to becoming a patient mom was anything but easy. Letting go of my Type-A tendencies felt like going against everything I had ever known. I thrived on structure, deadlines, and the satisfaction of checking off tasks. But motherhood isn’t a series of checkboxes; it’s an ever-evolving journey that demands flexibility, patience, and, above all, presence.
In the early days, I found myself battling an internal struggle. On one hand, I wanted to be the mom who was fully present, calm, and nurturing. On the other hand, my Type-A personality kept pulling me back into old habits—over-planning, micromanaging, and feeling the constant need to accomplish something. The pressure to be a perfect mom, while also holding onto my career-driven mindset, was overwhelming.
But the turning point came when I realized that my children didn’t need a perfect mom—they needed a patient one. They needed someone who could be fully there for them, who could put aside the endless to-do list and simply be present. This realization was a wake-up call, and it was then that I knew I had to change.
Letting go of control didn’t happen overnight. It required conscious effort, self-reflection, and a willingness to embrace a different way of being. It meant learning to trust that things would get done in their own time, that it was okay to leave some tasks unfinished, and that my worth was not tied to how much I accomplished in a day.
Resources:
- When You’re Not The Mom You Envisioned (podcast)
- 10 Mindset Shifts That Changed My Life As A Mom (blog post)
- How To Be A Calm Mom (podcast)
- Mom On Purpose Free Course
Mindset Shifts: How I Learned To Prioritize Peace Over Perfection
As I began my journey towards becoming a more patient mom, I quickly realized that the biggest challenge wasn’t the external changes I needed to make, but the internal ones. My mindset, which had served me so well in my career, was rooted in perfectionism. I believed that if I could just do everything “right,” I would be a good mom. But motherhood, as I learned, isn’t about doing things perfectly—it’s about doing them with love, intention, and peace.
One of the most significant mindset shifts I made was learning to embrace imperfection. I had to teach myself that it was okay for things to be messy, both literally and figuratively. The dishes didn’t always need to be done right away, and it was okay if my children had moments of chaos. These were not signs of failure; they were simply part of the beautiful, messy reality of raising kids.
Another crucial shift was learning to let go of the need to control everything. As a Type-A personality, I was used to having a plan, knowing what came next, and ensuring that everything went according to schedule. But motherhood doesn’t always follow a plan. I had to learn to go with the flow, to be more adaptable, and to find peace in the midst of uncertainty.
Prioritizing peace over perfection also meant making time for self-care. I had to remind myself that taking care of my own well-being wasn’t selfish—it was essential. By nurturing myself, I was better equipped to nurture my family. Whether it was taking a few minutes to meditate, going for a walk, or simply sitting down with a cup of tea, these small acts of self-care helped me stay grounded and present.
These mindset shifts didn’t happen overnight, but with time and practice, I began to see the benefits. I became more relaxed, more patient, and more in tune with my children. And most importantly, I found a deeper sense of peace and fulfillment in my role as a mom.
Resources:
- Embracing Imperfection: Overcoming The Pressure To Do It All (podcast)
- Self Care Tools For Moms That Actually Work (blog post)
- Mama Mindset Mantras (free download)
Practical Tips For Moms Seeking Balance And Patience
Finding balance and cultivating patience as a mom is a journey, but there are practical steps you can take to make it easier. Here are some of the strategies that helped me along the way:
1. Set Realistic Expectations:
One of the first things I had to do was adjust my expectations—both of myself and of my children. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking we need to be supermoms, handling everything flawlessly. But the truth is, it’s okay to have off days, and it’s okay for things not to go as planned. By setting more realistic expectations, you free yourself from unnecessary pressure and allow room for grace.
2. Embrace the Power of ‘No’:
Learning to say no was a game-changer for me. Whether it’s turning down extra work, declining social invitations, or simply not overloading your schedule, saying no creates space for what truly matters. It’s about prioritizing your time and energy for the things that bring you joy and fulfillment, rather than spreading yourself too thin.
3. Create Simple, Soothing Routines:
Routines can be incredibly grounding, especially when they are centered around calm and connection. I found that having a consistent morning and evening routine helped me start and end the day on a peaceful note. Whether it’s enjoying a quiet cup of coffee before the kids wake up or winding down with a family story time, these small routines can make a big difference in your overall sense of balance.
4. Practice Mindfulness:
Mindfulness has been a cornerstone of my journey towards patience. By staying present in the moment, I’m better able to respond to my children with calmness rather than reacting out of stress or frustration. Simple practices like deep breathing, taking a moment to pause before reacting, or even mindful walking can help keep you centered.
5. Prioritize Self-Care:
As moms, we often put ourselves last, but you can’t pour from an empty cup. Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine. Whether it’s finding time for a hobby, taking a relaxing bath, or simply spending a few minutes in silence, these moments of self-care recharge your batteries and help you show up as the patient, balanced mom you want to be.
6. Let Go of Perfectionism:
Perfectionism can be a major roadblock to finding balance. Remind yourself that it’s okay for things to be imperfect—what matters most is the love and care you bring to your role as a mom. Embrace the messiness of motherhood, and focus on the moments of joy and connection rather than striving for an unattainable ideal.
7. Join Mom On Purpose for a Support System:
Get tools, courses, coaching, and accountability to support you in your journey. That’s what Mom On Purpose Membership is all about. Click here to learn more and join the best community of moms!
Looking Back: Lessons Learned On My Path To Calm And Balance
Here are some of the lessons that I wish I would’ve known at the beginning of my journey:
- Who you’ve been in the past isn’t determinative of who you have to be in your future.
- Desires on your heart matter—listen to them.
- Do the inner work of becoming who you want to be.
- Don’t limit yourself by your past.
- Take small steps every day to work towards your dreams.
- Celebrate small wins along the way.
- Surround yourself with like-minded women doing this work to help you grow.
A Final Note
Expanding my capacity to feel more grounded, patient, and calm has helped me tremendously as a mom. It’s easier for me to enjoy small moments and be present with my kids. It helps me let go of the to-do list and enjoy the current season. And I love that I’m still able to use my ambition in my work, whenever I want. It’s all still there, now I just know how to channel it.
To find more balance in motherhood, join me inside my Free Course For Moms.