Curious how to stop the spiral of negative thoughts and self-criticism? I got you. In fact, it wasn’t that long ago that I, too, was wondering how to let go of negative thinking and reprogram my mind. I’m here to say it’s not only possible but also very doable. You can go from negative thinking to positive thinking using the tools you’ll learn in this post.
I used to go around worried, stressed, anxious, and judgmental. These feelings were generated from the borage of negative thoughts I had swirling around in my mind about any and everything. If and when something did happen positively, I rarely embraced it because I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I knew more negative was coming.
What I didn’t understand that I do now is that the way I experienced myself and the world was 100% internal—not external. That because of this, I could learn how to change my internal experience to feel so much better in my everyday life. And that’s what I did. I changed the way I thought about myself, other people, and the world. I shifted from a negative mindset to a positive mindset. Subsequently, I’ve been able to help thousands of women do the same through my classes, courses, trainings, and more.
If you want to let go of negative thought patterns and reprogram your mindset for positive thinking, you’re in the right place. Below is a step-by-step guide to help you get started doing just that.
Before you dive in — sign up for the Mom On Purpose Free Course with mindset tools to help you become the mom you want to be.
What Is Negative Thinking And How It Impacts Your Daily Life
Before I dive into how to change your thoughts, I want to make sure we’re talking about the same thing. When I’m talking about “negative thoughts” and “mindset” I’m referring to the narratives in your mind. The stories your brain creates through thoughts to help you make sense of the world. All healthy humans do this. We (as humans) are meaning-making beings.
Now, think about mindset like different shades of sunglasses. You can wear sunglasses in black, brown, rose, or any other color. When you wear a pair of sunglasses you see everything through that color. If you have black sunglasses on, everything looks dark. This is exactly how mindset works. If you view the world negatively, that’s what you’ll see. Comparatively, if you take off your sunglasses and put on rose-colored glasses, you’ll see things with a rose tint. That’s the power of mindset. You change the “lens” through which you see the world. The world doesn’t change; your sunglasses—in this case mindset—changes.
The reason this is so powerful is because of how mindset impacts your life—everything from your daily routine to your relationships to your career to your money to your job—ALL of it! If you have a positive mindset, you’re more likely to view your spouse and kids positively, which means you’ll feel more connected to them. If your mindset is negative, critical, and harsh, you’ll likely struggle with these relationships. The difference is in your mindset; not your circumstances.
With a negative mindset, you’ll self-sabotage, experience more stress, anxiety, and overwhelm, have a much harder time in relationships, you won’t achieve your goals, and you’ll feel stuck living a life that’s more of the same ‘ole same ‘ole, repeating the parts of your past you don’t want to.
With a positive mindset, you’ll change your life for the better, feel more joy, calm, and connection, have better relationships, and become the woman and mom you genuinely want to be.
Mindset Resources:
- 10 Mindset Mantras (download)
- How To Stop Negative Thinking (podcast)
- Cognitive Distortions Class (membership)
- How Mindset Has Changed My Life As A Mom (blog post)
- 10 Mindset Shifts For Moms (podcast)
- Victim Mentality In Motherhood (blog post)
- Mom On Purpose Free Course (download)
- 25 Mindset Tips For Moms (blog post)
- How To Have An Empowered Mindset (podcast)
- Mantras For The Mental Load Of Motherhood (blog post)
- How To Let Go Of Negative Thinking And Reprogram Your Mind For Positive Thinking (blog post)
Common Negative Thought Patterns
Here’s a list of common negative thought patterns that many moms experience:
- Mom Guilt – Constantly feeling like you’re not doing enough or you’re not a good enough mom.
- Perfectionism – Believing you need to do everything perfectly, from parenting to household tasks.
- Comparing to Other Moms – Frequently comparing yourself to other moms on social media or in your community, leading to feelings of inadequacy.
- Catastrophizing – Jumping to worst-case scenarios when something goes wrong, especially related to your kids’ health or safety.
- Overgeneralizing – Thinking that one bad day or mistake defines your overall abilities as a mom.
- All-or-Nothing Thinking – Believing that you either have to be the perfect mom or you’re a complete failure, with no middle ground.
- Assuming the Worst – Expecting negative outcomes in parenting situations, such as believing your kids will always misbehave in public.
- Minimizing Achievements – Downplaying your successes or the positive things you do as a mom because you focus on what you didn’t do.
- Self-Blame – Holding yourself responsible for everything that goes wrong in your family or household.
- Thinking You’re a Bad Mom – Internalizing the belief that any mistake, challenge, or frustration makes you a bad mother. (Related: 20 Tools To Become The Mom You Want To Be free guide)
These patterns are common but can be addressed with mindset shifts and tools for positive thinking. So, there is hope!
How Positive Thinking Improves Mental Health And Wellbeing
Positive thinking can have a profound impact on both mental health and overall wellbeing, especially for moms who juggle multiple responsibilities every day. When you focus on optimism and embrace a positive mindset, you can rewire your brain to respond more effectively to the inevitable challenges of motherhood.
1. Reduces Stress and Anxiety
A positive mindset helps reduce stress by changing the way you interpret situations. Instead of fixating on what could go wrong, you begin to see opportunities for growth or solutions to problems. This shift not only lowers your stress levels but also reduces feelings of anxiety, allowing you to approach each day with more calm and confidence.
2. Enhances Emotional Resilience
Motherhood can be unpredictable, but positive thinking helps you build emotional resilience, making it easier to bounce back from setbacks. Whether you’re facing a tough day with your kids, juggling work-life balance, or managing household stress, focusing on positivity helps you stay grounded and recover quickly.
3. Improves Self-Confidence
By adopting a positive mindset, you learn to speak more kindly to yourself and avoid harsh self-criticism. This improves your self-esteem and confidence as a mom, making you feel more capable of handling the ups and downs of parenting. You’ll start to appreciate your strengths rather than dwell on perceived shortcomings.
4. Promotes Better Physical Health
There’s a strong connection between mental and physical health. Positive thinking has been shown to lower blood pressure, improve immune function, and even reduce the risk of chronic diseases. By fostering a positive mental state, you’re more likely to take care of your body—whether that’s through exercise, healthier eating, or proper rest.
5. Strengthens Relationships
When you focus on positive thinking, you’re more likely to cultivate healthier relationships, not just with your kids but also with your spouse, friends, and family. Positivity helps you communicate more effectively, show empathy, and express appreciation for others, which strengthens the bonds you share with loved ones.
6. Increases Happiness and Fulfillment
Shifting to a positive mindset helps you find joy in the little moments of motherhood, instead of feeling overwhelmed by the challenges. When you train your mind to focus on what’s going well, you experience more moments of happiness and fulfillment in your day-to-day life.
Ultimately, positive thinking isn’t about ignoring the hard parts of being a mom; it’s about changing the way you respond to them. By embracing positivity, you create a healthier mental state that supports your wellbeing and allows you to thrive, even on the most chaotic days.
The Science Behind Reprogramming Your Mind For Positivity
Reprogramming your mind for positivity isn’t just a feel-good concept—it’s backed by science. The brain has an incredible ability to change and adapt, a process known as neuroplasticity. This means that with intentional practice, you can rewire your brain to adopt a more positive mindset, making it easier to break negative thought patterns and create lasting emotional resilience.
1. Understanding Neuroplasticity
Neuroplasticity refers to the brain’s capacity to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections. Every time you think, feel, or experience something, your brain is creating new pathways. When you repeatedly focus on positive thoughts, you strengthen these pathways, making it easier for your brain to default to optimism in the future. This is why practices like gratitude and positive affirmations can have such powerful long-term effects.
2. The Role Of The Reticular Activating System (RAS)
Your brain’s Reticular Activating System (RAS) acts like a filter for your attention. It prioritizes what’s important to you, whether it’s conscious or subconscious. If you constantly engage in negative thinking, your RAS will notice and amplify negative situations in your environment. However, if you focus on positivity, your RAS will shift to seek out positive experiences, helping you notice opportunities for joy, success, and growth.
3. The Power Of Positive Self-Talk
The way you talk to yourself shapes your brain’s neural patterns. Negative self-talk can activate your brain’s stress response, making you more prone to anxiety and depression. On the other hand, positive self-talk reduces the release of stress hormones like cortisol and increases feel-good chemicals like dopamine and serotonin. Over time, these chemical changes improve your mental health and wellbeing, reinforcing your ability to stay positive even during tough times.
4. Reprogramming Through Mindfulness And Meditation
Mindfulness and meditation are proven tools for reprogramming your mind. Studies show that these practices can actually increase gray matter in the brain, particularly in areas associated with self-awareness and emotional regulation. By practicing mindfulness, you train your brain to stay present, recognize negative thought patterns, and consciously replace them with positive, empowering thoughts. This not only rewires your brain but also improves your emotional resilience.
Access more mindfulness resources here.
5. How Habit Formation Supports Positivity
According to habit formation science, consistently repeating positive behaviors and thoughts helps them become automatic. Every time you engage in habits like journaling, practicing gratitude, or reframing negative thoughts, you are strengthening the neural pathways that support positivity. Eventually, these habits become ingrained, allowing you to more naturally approach life with optimism.
6. Benefits of Gratitude On Brain Chemistry
Gratitude is one of the most powerful tools for reprogramming your mind for positivity. Research has shown that regularly practicing gratitude activates the brain’s reward system and releases dopamine, which makes you feel happier. This chemical shift not only boosts your mood but also helps train your brain to look for the positive in everyday situations.
Reprogramming your mind for positivity takes time and effort, but the science is clear: with practice, you can reshape your brain to be more optimistic, resilient, and focused on the good in life. By understanding and applying these scientific principles, you can create lasting mental shifts that improve your overall wellbeing.
5 Proven Techniques To Let Go Of Negative Thoughts
Inside the Mom On Purpose Membership, I teach an entire course on how to change your mindset that thousands of moms have used to become more positive. The framework I teach is based on these concepts:
1. Practice Cognitive Restructuring
Cognitive restructuring is a psychological technique that helps you challenge and reframe negative thoughts. When you notice a negative thought arise, ask yourself: How does this thought make me feel? How do I act when I think this thought? Replace the negative thought with a more intentional thoughts. Over time, this practice can help weaken the power of harmful thoughts and strengthen positive thinking patterns.
2. Use Mindfulness To Stay Present
Mindfulness teaches you to stay grounded in the present moment, which can be especially helpful when negative thoughts start to spiral. When you catch yourself ruminating, take a few deep breaths and bring your awareness to what’s happening right now. This helps you observe negative thoughts without attaching to them, allowing them to pass more easily. Regular mindfulness meditation can also rewire your brain to be less reactive to negativity.
3. Practice Gratitude Journaling
Gratitude is a powerful antidote to negative thinking. By shifting your focus to what’s going well in your life, you train your brain to seek out positivity. Set aside a few minutes each day to write down three things you’re grateful for. Over time, this practice helps reframe your mindset, making it easier to let go of negativity and focus on the good. Even on tough days, finding small things to be thankful for can transform your outlook.
Up next: Grab this free download —75 Journal Prompts For Moms
4. Engage In Positive Self-Talk
Negative thoughts are often fueled by harsh self-criticism. To counter this, practice positive self-talk by speaking to yourself with kindness and encouragement. Whenever you catch yourself thinking negatively, replace that thought with a positive affirmation. For example, if you think, I’m failing at this, reframe it as, I’m learning and growing from this experience. Positive self-talk not only helps silence negativity but also builds self-confidence and emotional resilience.
5. Use Visualization To Reframe Your Mindset
Visualization is a powerful tool for letting go of negative thoughts and embracing positivity. Spend a few minutes each day visualizing the outcome you want or the person you aspire to be. Picture yourself handling challenges with ease and responding to life with optimism. Visualization activates the brain’s neural pathways, making it easier to shift away from negativity and reinforce positive thought patterns. The more vividly you imagine your desired mindset, the more your brain starts to internalize it.
By incorporating these techniques into your daily routine, you can begin to break free from the grip of negative thoughts and reprogram your mind for positivity, leading to greater mental clarity, resilience, and happiness.
Creating Lasting Change: How To Maintain A Positive Mindset
Maintaining a positive mindset isn’t just about short-term bursts of optimism—it requires consistent effort and intentional practices. While it’s normal to experience setbacks, with the right strategies, you can create lasting change and build a mindset that stays positive, even in the face of challenges. Here’s how you can maintain a positive mindset for the long term:
1. Develop Daily Mindset Habits
Lasting change begins with the habits you incorporate into your daily life. Make positivity a regular practice by starting your day with intention. Simple activities like morning affirmations, gratitude journaling, or mindful meditation set a positive tone for the day ahead. Consistently engaging in these habits strengthens the neural pathways associated with positivity, making it easier to maintain an optimistic outlook over time.
2. Surround Yourself With Positive Influences
Your environment plays a significant role in maintaining a positive mindset. Surround yourself with people who uplift and encourage you, whether it’s friends, family, or mentors. Engage in communities, both online and offline, that prioritize personal growth and positivity. Being in the presence of others who share a positive mindset reinforces your own efforts and provides support during tougher moments.
3. Reframe Negative Thoughts As Opportunities
Negativity will inevitably creep in from time to time, but how you respond to it matters. Practice reframing challenges and setbacks as opportunities for growth. Instead of viewing difficulties as failures, ask yourself: What can I learn from this? How can I grow through this experience? Shifting your perspective from defeat to development helps maintain a positive mindset, even when things don’t go as planned.
4. Practice Self-Compassion
Being hard on yourself when things go wrong can fuel negativity and self-doubt. Instead, practice self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a close friend. Remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes or have off days. By showing yourself grace, you reduce the tendency to spiral into negative thought patterns and make it easier to return to a positive mindset.
5. Set Realistic Goals And Celebrate Progress
Setting goals gives you something to work toward, but it’s important to set realistic, achievable goals to avoid feeling overwhelmed or discouraged. Break larger goals into smaller, manageable steps, and celebrate each milestone along the way. Recognizing your progress, no matter how small, reinforces a sense of accomplishment and positivity, helping you stay motivated and focused on the good.
Related content: Listen To The Becoming Her Podcast Here
6. Monitor Your Self-Talk
Your inner dialogue has a direct impact on your mindset. Be mindful of how you speak to yourself throughout the day. If you notice negative self-talk creeping in, consciously replace those thoughts with positive affirmations or neutral, constructive statements. For example, instead of thinking, I’m so overwhelmed, reframe it as, I have a lot on my plate, but I can handle it one step at a time. This simple shift helps maintain your mental balance and keeps negativity at bay.
7. Embrace Flexibility And Adaptability
One of the keys to maintaining a positive mindset is embracing flexibility. Life is unpredictable, and rigid expectations can lead to frustration and negativity when things don’t go as planned. Cultivate adaptability by focusing on what you can control and accepting that change is part of the process. When you approach life with an open mind, it’s easier to maintain positivity in the face of unexpected events.
8. Regularly Reflect On Your Wins And Gratitude
Reflection is a powerful tool for maintaining a positive mindset. At the end of each day, take a few minutes to reflect on your wins, big or small, and what you’re grateful for. By consistently focusing on the positive aspects of your life, you train your brain to prioritize positivity, making it easier to stay grounded in gratitude, even during difficult times.
9. Commit To Continuous Growth
Maintaining a positive mindset is a lifelong journey. Commit to continuous personal growth by investing in your mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing. Read books, listen to podcasts, or take courses that help you strengthen your mindset. When you prioritize your growth, you equip yourself with tools and strategies to maintain a positive outlook, no matter what life throws your way.
By implementing these strategies, you can create lasting change and cultivate a positive mindset that will carry you through the highs and lows of motherhood—and life.
This is the work we do in the Mom On Purpose Membership. You can learn more about it here.
A Final Note
Incorporating positivity into your daily life is a powerful way to improve your mental and emotional well-being, but it’s a journey that requires practice and patience. By committing to mindset habits, reframing challenges, and surrounding yourself with positive influences, you can create lasting change.
Remember, a positive mindset isn’t about avoiding life’s difficulties—it’s about building resilience, finding gratitude in the small moments, and empowering yourself to live with purpose. The more you practice, the more naturally positivity will become a part of who you are, allowing you to navigate life with grace and optimism!
Before you go—be sure to grab my free class for high achieving moms. Get it here.