Summer with little kids is a beautiful kind of chaos.

The days are long. The messes are constant. The volume is high. And there’s something about the lack of structure that makes everything feel just a little… off, unless I’m really intentional.

Here’s what I know for sure: if you let summer just “happen” it will feel overwhelming and chaotic—the opposite of what you want. Summer requires routines and intentionality. This isn’t restrictive it’s actually freeing.

I approach summer on purpose. I don’t try to control every moment, but I do lead with clarity and intention. These 9 rules help me feel more peaceful, present, and connected—even on the loud, sticky, no-one-napped kind of days.

They’re not about perfection. They’re about creating the kind of summer I want to remember—and helping my kids feel that, too.

If you’ve been craving more rhythm, more calm, and more actual joy in your summer… these might help.

1. I set a routine on day one.

One of the biggest mistakes I used to make was easing into summer without any sort of structure. I’d think, “We’ll figure it out as we go.” But instead of feeling free, we’d end up disorganized and disconnected within days.

Now, I establish a loose summer routine right away. I don’t wait for the chaos to hit. Even a simple daily rhythm—like breakfast, outside time, lunch, rest time, play, and dinner—creates predictability that grounds everyone.

It’s not rigid. It’s a rhythm. And it gives us a home base to return to when things feel off.

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2. I choose to think positively about summer.

Mindset is everything. And I’ve learned that how I think about summer affects how I experience it.

If I go into summer believing, “This is going to be so hard,” then every meltdown, every mess, every moment of boredom becomes proof of that thought. But when I intentionally think, “This season can be fun and meaningful,” my brain starts looking for evidence of that instead.

That doesn’t mean every moment is joyful. But it means I’m leading from a mindset of possibility instead of dread. And that matters.

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3. I set screen time rules ahead of time.

Summer can be tricky when it comes to screen time. The lack of structure and the need for quiet moments can make it tempting to hand off the iPad more than usual. I’m not against screens at all—but I’ve found that things go much more smoothly when I set clear expectations before the day starts.

My kids know when screen time happens, for how long, and under what conditions. This reduces the constant begging and negotiating and helps me feel better about the role screens play in our day.

When I plan for it, I don’t have to feel guilty about it.

4. I manage my mind every single day.

Just like I shower daily to take care of my body, I manage my mind daily to take care of my mindset (mental and emotional health). This doesn’t require a lot of time, but it does require the skill (of brain management) and the intention.

Every day, I check in on my thoughts, my attitude, and my feelings. I make it my job to show up with a good attitude, process my feelings, and have a strong and empowered mindset. It is LIFE GIVING during the summer.

Thought work helps me shift out of anxiety, frustration, and mom-guilt. It helps me stay calm, grounded, and emotionally available for my kids—even when they’re testing every last ounce of my patience.

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5. I let boredom happen.

This one took some work. As a high-achieving woman who loves a good plan and a packed schedule, boredom used to feel like a problem I needed to solve. But I now live by the mantra, “boredom is a feeling to feel, not a problem to solve.”

When I step back and let them feel bored—without rushing to fill the gap with entertainment—they become more creative, resourceful, and independent. I see them invent games, build forts, and engage in deep imaginative play.

And maybe most importantly? I get a break. Everyone wins.

6. I expand my capacity for play.

I wasn’t always great at playing. I’m wired for efficiency, goals, and productivity. Sitting on the floor and pretending to be a robot dog felt… well, pointless.

But over the years, I’ve worked to soften. I’ve practiced showing up for play—even when it doesn’t come naturally. Not all day, and not always perfectly, but intentionally. I’ve learned that those five-minute moments of silliness or eye contact or letting them “teach” me a made-up game are huge deposits in the connection bank.

Expanding my capacity for play has expanded my capacity for joy.

7. I don’t use a to-do list—I use Google Calendar for everything.

I used to keep long to-do lists running in the background of my brain all day. But they were overwhelming and never actually complete. I’d end most days feeling behind.

Now, I use Google Calendar to time-block everything—including rest, fun, and free time. It gives me a realistic picture of what I can do in a day, instead of a never-ending list of what I “should” do.

This has made a huge difference in how I feel at the end of each day. I can see what got done—and I can let go of the rest.

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8. I stay connected to our bigger summer goals.

We don’t just drift through summer anymore. We have a few intentional family goals we revisit throughout the season—things like reading 20 books, visiting five new parks, planning a backyard campout, or learning a new skill.

They’re not rigid or achievement-focused. They’re playful and meaningful. And they give our summer a sense of purpose and shared momentum.

When the weeks fly by, I want to feel like we lived them.

9. I define a “good summer” by what I can control.

Not by my kids’ behavior.
Not by how many outings we did.
Not by how perfect it all looked on Instagram.

A good summer, to me, means I showed up with intention. I protected my energy. I stayed connected to my kids. I gave myself grace. I didn’t aim for perfect—I aimed for presence.

And that definition brings me back to peace every time.

A Final Note

Summer doesn’t have to be something you survive. It doesn’t have to leave you burned out, touched out, or wondering why it never feels like you thought it would.

With just a little forethought, a few gentle routines, and a mindset that supports you, summer can feel good. Maybe not easy. Maybe not quiet. But real, present, and full of meaning.

These nine rules aren’t magic—but they’ve made all the difference for me.

And I hope something here helps you find a little more calm, a little more joy, and a whole lot more freedom in your summer, too.