You’re a really great mom. I know that because you wouldn’t be reading this post otherwise. So, why does it feel like you’re disconnected with your kids sometimes? That’s exactly what I’m going to teach you in this post (plus, what to do about it).

The Real Reason You’re Struggling To Connect With Your Kids

One of the biggest reasons it’s hard to feel connected with your kids?
You’re probably spending more time in your head than in the moment.

Maybe you’re replaying something from earlier. Or trying to plan five steps ahead. Or just mentally running through your to-do list while you hand out snacks and referee fights.

I’ve been there more times than I can count.

But here’s the thing: connection doesn’t happen when we’re thinking about what just happened or what’s coming next.
It happens right now—when we’re grounded, present, and able to really see and hear our kids.

I see this all the time in coaching, and I’ve experienced it myself—especially in the early days of motherhood. I was checking all the boxes: feeding, changing, managing the schedule, organizing everything. But I wasn’t with my kids emotionally. I was managing them, not connecting with them.

And that’s not because I didn’t love them.
It’s because I was living in my mind—spinning in thoughts, perfectionism, and pressure to “get it right.”

If your mind is constantly running ahead of you, connection will feel just out of reach—even if you’re doing everything else well.

The good news? This is totally fixable. And it starts with recognizing how disconnection shows up in your daily life.

Resources:

10 Signs You’re Disconnected From Your Kids

  1. You’re playing Legos with your kids, but your mind is on the work email you forgot to send.
  2. They’re telling you a story, and you’re nodding—without having any idea what they just said.
  3. You snap over something small, then feel immediate guilt.
  4. You can’t remember the last time you looked your kids in the eyes.
  5. It’s 3:00pm and you’re counting down until bedtime.
  6. You keep saying “not right now.”
  7. When you’re with your kids you’re scrolling on your phone.
  8. Your smiles feel like you’re just going through the motions.
  9. When you hug them, you let go first.
  10. When you have moments alone, you don’t feel grounded or like it’s actually a break.

What Does It Mean To “Connect” With Your Kids?

Connection isn’t something your child gives you. It’s not something that happens only during cuddles or deep talks or when everything’s going smoothly.

Connection is an emotion you feel.
And like every emotion, it’s created by your thoughts.

What are you thinking in the moment when you’re with your kids? How does that thought make you feel?

For example if you’re thinking, “I need to figure out what’s for dinner and make time for that return, then head to the grocery store” you’re likely going to feel that buzzing, rushing feeling in your body.

If you want to feel connected to your kids, it starts with paying attention to your thoughts because that’s how you will feel more connected. This is the work we do inside the Mom On Purpose Membership. I teach you the foundation to managing your thoughts so you can feel however you want to feel, included connected to your kids. When you know how I change your thoughts, you will be more present and connected to your kids.

Resources:

Simple, Practical Ways To Create Connection

Most moms (myself included) want a list they can check off to know they get something done. I’m with you. I get it. And yet, connection doesn’t work like that. There’s nothing I can tell you to DO that will guarantee connection. That said, If you understand the essence of connection, you’ll know the best ways to create it for you and your kids. It all starts with your thoughts.

Here are examples of thoughts you can think in the moment to create connection:

“I love being with you right now.”

“This is exactly where I’m supposed to be.”

“I’m safe, and so are they.”

“Nothing else matters more than this moment.”

“I want to understand them.”

“They’re just being a child. I can be the calm.”

“We’re on the same team.”

“This moment is enough.”

“This is the highest priority.”

Training your mind to focus on where your feet are is the essence of presence. It’s allowing your body to feel safety in the present moment so you can indulge in the little things with your kids.

Notice the impact of your thoughts on your emotions, too. If you’re managing your mind to feel more connected, you’ll:

  • Slow down your words
  • Be more playful
  • Move your body around
  • Have increased focus on what’s in your child’s world
  • Let the little things go (without correcting them)
  • Be listening and engaging

Connection is about how you feel when you’re with your kids. You’re in their world, showing interest in them without any agenda.

Resources:

15 Connecting Mantras

Here are 15 mantras (i.e.: thoughts) to think that can create connection in the moment with your kids:

  1. This moment is enough.
  2. I see you. I hear you. I’m with you.
  3. Connection over correction.
  4. We’re on the same team.
  5. Nothing else matters more than this right now.
  6. I choose calm.
  7. They’re doing the best they can. So am I.
  8. I can handle this with love.
  9. Beneath the behavior is a feeling. I’m here for it.
  10. I want to understand them.
  11. I don’t have to rush this moment.
  12. I love being their mom.
  13. This is hard—and I’m showing up anyway.
  14. My presence is powerful.
  15. We’re okay. I’m okay.

Using thought work to create connection is a skill. It’s not one-size fits all. But everyone can find their own unique thoughts and mantras that will feel true and believable to them. So, don’t feel limited by these thoughts. These are suggestions. Inside the Membership is where I can help you create your own thoughts.

A Final Note

You don’t need a perfect routine, more time, or a new strategy to feel close to your kids. You just need awareness. The moment you notice disconnection, you’re already on your way back to presence. The moment you choose a thought that creates connection, you’ve shifted everything. That’s the power you hold. You don’t have to wait for a quiet house or a calmer season. Connection is available to you now—in the middle of the mess, the noise, and the to-dos. You’re already a good mom. And when you parent from a place of connection, everything else starts to feel a little lighter, a little clearer, and a lot more meaningful.