Getting out the door in the morning with kids can feel like absolute chaos. As a mom of three boys, plus two dogs, I’m right there with you in the morning rush. Whether it’s kids not listening, something being left behind, or always being late, mornings can feel overwhelming, tense, and frustrating. Then there’s yelling and the mom guilt, none of which are helpful, yet both of which often show up. If you feel like you can’t get your kids out the door without losing your sh*t, you’re not alone. And there is a better way!
In this post, I’m sharing how I make our mornings stress free (and you can, too).
UP NEXT: Listen to the podcast, “How To Get Out The Door In The Morning Without Losing Your Sh*t”
How To Get Your Kids Out The Door Without Stress
Getting out the door in the morning stress free is more about what you do than it is about what your kids do. That’s the best news I have for you. You can implement the strategies below and have so much more peace, calm, and connection in the morning. Give them a try and be sure to join me inside the Mom On Purpose Membership, so I can give you coaching and feedback to help you make these changes and show up as the mom you want to be!
1. Plan ahead the night before.
One of the biggest game changers for our mornings as a busy mom of three has been doing as much as possible the night before. Decisions stack up in the morning, even when they’re small. What clothes will they wear? Who needs what? Do I even know where their shoes are? What am I forgetting? And on and on.
Instead of saving all those micro-decisions for the morning, do anything you can the night before. For example, I like to lay out outfits for all three of my boys (and for me!), have an idea of what I’ll serve for breakfast and lunch, get school papers/bookbags and my diaper bag out and ready. This way, I’m not running around scrambling in the morning.
The more you automate the night before, the more you create mornings where you’re leading with intention instead of reacting in chaos. The fewer decisions you have to make the better.
2. Raise your expectations of yourself and lower them for your kids.
We often expect our kids to be on top of everything, to move quickly, to remember their shoes and backpacks, to follow instructions right away… while we give ourselves permission to lose it when they don’t.
The truth is, kids are still learning. They’re supposed to be forgetful, slow, and easily distracted. That’s developmentally normal. So instead of expecting them to be perfect little adults, I remind myself to lower my expectations for them. I don’t mean I’m permissive—I’m not. I hold boundaries. But the difference is that I don’t get super frustrated in so doing.
So, I think of it as raising expectations for myself. I hold myself to being the calm, grounded leader who sets the tone. That doesn’t mean I never slip (trust me, I do), but I take responsibility for showing up how I want to, instead of letting my kids’ behavior determine my mood.
This shift is so freeing. Instead of mornings feeling like a battle, I feel like I’m showing up as the mom I want to be.
3. View yourself as a leader.
One of the most powerful shifts I’ve made as a mom was learning to see myself as the leader in the mornings, not just the person trying to survive them.
As a professionally certified coach, I’ve worked with over 2,000 moms, and I can tell you this is a universal turning point. The moms I coach often describe mornings as the most stressful part of the day. They feel like they’re constantly reacting — to whining, to forgetfulness, to the time. When they make this simple shift and start seeing themselves as the leader of the morning, their entire perspective shifts. They go from feeling frustrated and snapping to feeling in control, not because their kids suddenly behave perfectly, but because they step into a new way of being in the morning—one where they embody being the leader and mom they want to be.
This is exactly what I teach my clients: leaders anticipate bumps, set the tone, and guide their people through challenges. That’s who you can be in the morning—for your sake! You’re not waiting to see if your kids are cooperative before you decide to be calm. You lead with calm, and then you bring them with you.
4. Have the mindset, “we’re on the same team.”
It’s so easy to slip into an “you versus them” mentality in the mornings. When you’re trying to move things along, it can feel like your kids are proactively—and purposefully—making that impossible.
But the mindset that changed everything for me was realizing: we’re on the same team. My kids aren’t against me. They want to get where we’re going too. They just don’t always have the skills, focus, or maturity yet to do it in the way I want them to do. When I remind myself “we’re on the same time,” I shift internally from frustration to collaboration.
This is something I see all the time in my coaching practice. When clients start to adopt this mindset, mornings feel less like a battle and more like teamwork. Instead of nagging or threatening, they find themselves encouraging, guiding, and problem-solving with their kids. And the ripple effect is powerful — kids start to feel more connected, less defensive, and more willing to cooperate.
I remind the moms I coach (and myself!) that leadership in motherhood isn’t about “winning” against your kids. It’s about creating an environment where everyone feels like they’re part of the same mission. And when you start to see it that way, the tension drops, and connection takes its place.
5. Ask, “How can I set my kid up for success?”
One of the most helpful questions I ask myself in the mornings is: How can I set my kid up for success? Instead of expecting them to just “listen,” I think about what they actually need from me to be successful.
For example, I know one of my boys always struggles with shoes. If I wait until we’re about to walk out the door, it turns into a power struggle. So instead, I set him up for success by having shoes ready early and giving him extra time to get them on. Another example — if brushing teeth tends to turn into resistance, I might put on a fun song or play a game so it feels less like nagging and more playful.
When you start looking at their mornings through this lens, the entire energy changes. Instead of feeling like you’re constantly correcting or disciplining, you move into problem-solving mode.
And here’s the best part: when you set your kids up for success, you’re also setting yourself up for success. You’re taking ownership of the environment you can control, instead of waiting for your kids to behave differently. That’s where you get your power back.
6. Give more time than needed.
One of the skills I’ve gotten really good at as a mom is estimating how much time things actually take. I know my kids, I know our routines, and I’ve learned to build in enough space so we’re not rushing. But I’ll tell you — when moms first come to me for coaching, this is almost always one of the biggest struggles.
Most high-achieving moms underestimate how long the morning routine actually takes. They assume 20 minutes is plenty to get everyone dressed, fed, brushed, packed, and out the door. In reality, with kids, it usually takes closer to 35 or 40. That gap between what they think it should take and what it really takes is often where all the frustration comes in.
So, I suggest giving yourself more time in the mornings. Kids (and therefore mornings) are unpredictable — someone forgets a backpack, someone spills breakfast, the baby needs a last-minute diaper change. Those aren’t emergencies, they’re just normal life with kids. And having extra time is what keeps those moments from feeling like disasters.
When my clients start building in more time, mornings immediately feel lighter. There’s less yelling, less panic, and way more space for connection. And if you do end up with extra minutes, that’s not wasted time. It’s breathing room. It’s a chance to actually enjoy the ride to school or sit together at the table for a few extra minutes. That’s what makes mornings feel peaceful instead of frantic.
7. Normalize what your kids do.
When you expect your kids to be different than they are — to move quickly, to remember everything, to listen the first time — you set yourself up for constant frustration. That’s usually when the yelling happens.
Here’s a much better mindset and perspective: kids are supposed to be forgetful, distracted, and slow sometimes. It’s developmentally normal. When you normalize their behavior instead of resisting it, you reduce your frustration (and you stop yelling).
This is exactly what I work on with my clients. When they shift from “my kids shouldn’t be doing this” to “this is what kids do,” everything softens. They stop feeling angry and start feeling confident and calm (no matter what their kids are doing).
Normalizing doesn’t mean permissive parenting — you still hold boundaries. It just means you stop making every little hiccup mean something’s gone wrong. You stop feeling upset. You stop yelling. Then, your mornings get a lot lighter.
8. Journal ahead of time about the mom you want to be.
Here’s the problem with not journaling: your brain is going to repeat the exact same thoughts, perspectives, and feelings it had yesterday and the day before that and the day before that. This means you’ll take the same actions — like snapping or yelling — that you regret later. That’s how the brain works. It’s wired to be efficient, and the most efficient thing it can do is repeat the past.
This is why change can feel hard. It’s like learning a new language. Without intentional effort, your brain will just keep speaking the one it already knows. So if yesterday you were stressed and frustrated in the morning, that’s what your brain will automatically recreate today.
The way out of that cycle is to give your brain something new to practice. That’s where journaling comes in. I teach this through my Becoming Her Journaling Process, and it’s one of the most transformative tools I use myself and with my clients. By journaling even just a few sentences about the mom you want to be — calm, patient, grounded, connected — you’re rewiring your brain ahead of time. This is how you stop yelling and start stepping into the leader you want to be.
Journaling doesn’t make the chaos disappear, but it does train your brain to show up differently in the middle of it. And over time, that new “language” becomes second nature.
A Final Note
If mornings feel overwhelming and stressful, you’re not alone. Most moms I coach tell me this is a struggle for them. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.
I’ve coached thousands of moms through this, and the result is always the same: more peace, more connection, and more mornings that actually feel good. And that’s possible for you, too. Learn more about working with me inside the Mom On Purpose Membership here.
UP NEXT: Listen to the podcast, “How To Get Out The Door In The Morning Without Losing Your Sh*t”
