I used to think that in order to do everything I wanted to do, I needed to fully schedule all of my time. But it left me feeling exhausted and with no time to manage my mind. I didn’t realize I was overscheduling, and I was doing so at my own expense.
So often we’re saying yes to things we want to do, but saying yes to too many things can come at a cost. It is important to remember that you can do all of these things, but you don’t have to do them all at once.
In this episode, I’m showing you how to stop overscheduling and start being more protective of your time. Discover the importance of scheduling white space for yourself, and what can happen when you stop overscheduling and start prioritizing your peace and wellbeing.
Welcome to the Design Your Dream Life Podcast where it’s all about designing your life on your terms and now your host, Natalie Bacon.
Hey friend. Welcome to the podcast. I am just over the moon right now because I am finally starting to feel a little bit better in my pregnancy in terms of the nausea specifically that was so debilitating for me. Of course, as you moms know, when one symptom sort of subsides, there is a new one. So I have some tailbone pain, some headaches. I’m still kind of tired and sleeping more, but all in all I will say that compared to the first three and a half/four months it is going a lot better. Baby’s healthy. Mom’s healthy. I’m just so looking forward to this season.
As most of you know with kids, when you go from not having kids to expecting your first, it’s almost like all consuming. Because there is such a transition taking place internally and externally. Baby gifts and items and books and courses and things that you’re learning. So your brain is like in overload. I actually heard pregnancy brain once described not as you are forgetful or something is wrong, but it’s just there’s so much new information that your brain is storing and accumulating that it can’t focus on the other things that it used to focus on. I sort of feel that way a little bit.
So what I did was I created a new bonus in Grow You called The Expecting Mom Resources Hub. In this bonus, I put all of my recommended resources for expecting mamas so that you can be better prepared for baby. You get all of my books, podcasts, courses, documentaries. Instagram accounts that I’m following, my registry items, the conversations that I’m having with my physician, and some resources to go along with that. So if you are expecting or you know someone who’s expecting, send them on over to Grow You. This is going to be the start of a lot more content for moms to come as I sort of transition myself into this new role.
It seems like it’s unrelated, but it’s actually very related. This month we are at the end of time management and calendaring inside Grow You. So that’s what I taught a course on. You get a workbook and a new video course. If you sign up for Grow You by the end of august, which is just about a week from now.
So go on over to momonpurpose.com/coaching. There is still time to get this course. When you join at the end of the month, you sort of get a two for one, right? You get the current month’s course, which will be the time management course and calendaring. Then the first of the following month, you get the next month’s topic.
Next month’s topic in Grow You is loving your body. So as I go through this transition of my body changing and the work that I’ve done over the last few years of changing the types of food that I’ve eaten and giving up alcohol, I am going to be teaching a new course on really how to love your body.
This isn’t specifically for if you want to lose weight. Although I think if you do want to lose weight, step number one is always learning to love your body first. It’s way more than that. I am not in a state of wanting to lose weight. In fact, I’m doing the opposite which is so interesting and fascinating for me to experience. So it’s really for anyone who wants to improve their relationship with their body. That is going to be the next month topic.
Today what I want to talk with you about as we wrap up time management and calendaring in Grow You is overscheduling. Holy cow y’all. I’m so excited to talk with you about this because it’s a huge problem. You are over scheduling. My clients are overscheduling. Everyone is overscheduling. I used to overschedule. I used to do this a lot. I didn’t know that I was doing it.
So the lack of awareness that this was something I shouldn’t do was really the problem. I just thought that in order to do everything, I needed to schedule all of my time fully. Like most of you if you’ve ever done this will identify with, it ends up being so hard to manage your mind when you don’t create white space for yourself.
Now, I’m a big believer that everyone sort of has a different amount of white space that they need. So if you have more introverted tendencies, you might need a lot more white space than someone who has extroverted tendencies. In fact for me right now after having so many months on the couch, if I wasn’t working, I’m finding myself wanting to schedule a few more things outside the home so that I can have those connections and community in my new city. So knowing that about myself is really helpful.
So for you, think about how much white space do you ideally want? How much white space do you have now? By white space I mean the space in your calendar. If you’re using a calendar, I don’t care what calendar it is. I use G calendar, but it can be any sort of calendar. It can be a planner. It can be a digital calendar. However you want to use it. I suggest just using one. A lot of you will have just one home and one work. That’s also okay, but you definitely don’t want more than that.
Looking at that and making sure that you have some space that is specifically white space, neutral space, dead space. Space for you to just be without filling it.
So this is where I’m doing a lot of my coaching in Grow You. I’m finding that a lot of the moms that I’m coaching, they’ll finally decide to create more white space. Then they’ll fill it with more things on their to do list. It almost has this energy of well I just want to get ahead. I don’t want to “waste that time”. What I want to offer here to you today is that your internal peace, your internal wellbeing is something that you are 100% in control of. You can make it easier to manage based on the decisions that you make.
So I think that if you use a to-do list and you don’t use a calendar, it’s a lot harder to manage your mind. It’s kind of like saying when you scroll on Instagram for hours and hours and hours. It’s not that scrolling on Instagram causes you to feel a certain way. It’s just a lot harder to manage your mind around everything that your brain is taking in when you spend that much time scrolling.
The same is true when you’re using a to-do list. So if you’re using a to do list, your brain thinks that you need to get all of these things done. It’s never enough time. So in Grow You this month, I taught my calendaring method where you do a specific method of calendaring on your calendar. This will help you better manage your mind around your time. Then the result of that is that you feel better. You feel better because you’re managing your mind in that way.
I was coaching someone recently, and she had said yes to join and participate in so many different programs. At the time that she signed up for them, she was thinking that she could do them all. She did not put the time requirements and commitments on her calendar. She just sort of said yes to them and hoped for the best, and sort of did it from this energy of what she called the fear of missing out. She’s like, “I didn’t want to miss out on this. So I said yes. I really do want to do it.”
What I coached her around was like anytime you are making a decision from that energy, particularly continuously, it’s not surprising that you continue to have that energy throughout the programs. Meaning you feel scarce and lack and like you don’t have enough time to do it all.
As this woman tried to do all of the things, she felt exhausted and spent and was sort of in a lot of self-blame. What I coached her around and got her to a place was, “Oh, I was just confused about my own needs and how that relates to what I say yes to and what I say no to.” So she realized how important it is for her internal wellbeing and her peace to really constrain when it comes to her calendar.
So you’ve heard me talk before about sort of doing programs one at a time. I’ve sort of adjusted that. I have probably three or four membership programs that I just always am a part of kind of going in the background. I sort of think of Grow You like that. Then I’ll take on one big all in high end pretty expensive deep dive program at a time.
An example is I just did the advanced deep dive coach certification. So that was one. Before that I did How To CEO. Anytime I know there’s going to be this program, it’s usually like three to four months long. Coaching every week where I need to be there in the middle of the day and blocking off my calendar. I know that I don’t want to be doing multiple programs like that at once. I won’t get the most of them. I won’t be able to give the most.
Then if I try to as this woman was, you sort of feel pulled in so many different directions like you can’t do it all. Then sort of blaming yourself thinking that there’s something wrong with you because you can’t do it all. That’s not the case at all. It’s just that you’re trying to do too much at one time.
What I’ve noticed so much more through this coaching is that so often we’re saying yes to things we actually want to do. So this client said she really did want to do all of those things. What I helped her see was that she can do them all. She doesn’t have to do them all at once. How trying to do them all at once was really at her own expense.
So that’s another thing to start thinking about. I love the phrase at your own expense. I’ve looked at some of my coaches and mentors who are making millions of dollars who read books, who have kids, who are in programs. I love watching their lives, particularly their brains from at least what I can see on the outside. What I notice time and time again is it’s almost like the more successful they are, and of course I’m defining success based on what I think is successful.
So I can think of Jody Moore, four kids. She’s a Mormon life coach. She speaks. She reads. She’s in programs. She creates programs. She works three days a week. I think of that as the type of success that I want. She has this happy marriage and all the things, right? She’s totally human and talks about her mistakes. What I love to notice, and I’ve heard her say this before in so many words, is like I’m not going to pack my schedule so that my brain is ever tempted to feel busy. She prioritizes that over doing the thing that she wants to do.
So if she wants to do something and her plate is full, whatever that’s defined as for her, she’s going to say, “Okay. I’m going to put this on my future list of things I want to do. The next time that some space opens up. Like maybe I’m in a big program now. So after this program ends, I’ll do that program.” It’s not just for programs too. It’s for anything that you are finding yourself using your time for.
So my takeaway is to be even more protective of my time so that I basically set up my circumstances for success. It’s always going to be my responsibility to manage my mind, to feel how I want to feel. I can certainly rig my environment to make that as easy as possible for me.
So ask yourself if you are overscheduling. If you are, can you find a way to eliminate just one thing from your schedule this week? Or starting next week if you’re already committed. It might just be that you start with 10 minutes of silence every day. That is just time for you to connect with yourself, with your emotions, with your body, and get that self-care that you need.
I typically recommend 10 minutes of silence a day. Then three to four days a week of doing one hour of self-coaching or coaching inside Grow You where you’re either listening to replays or asking questions in Ask a Coach. I think that you can really do it almost every other day for an hour, then 10 minutes a day just in like silence. I’m telling you. Even just starting there will help you feel so much more connected to your soul.
When you stop overscheduling, when you prioritize your peace and your mental and emotional wellbeing, you may end up saying no to things you actually want to do. It’s not no forever. It’s just no right now. In return, what you get back is connecting with yourself. Creating days you actually enjoy. Finding space for play. Instead of sort of being on this path of momentum where you’re overwhelmed and busy.
So everyone listening to this is going to have a different starting point. For you, look at your calendar this week and see if there is something that you can either pause, stop doing, give yourself more time for. Decide intentionally that the white space that you are putting on your calendar is going to be space where you intentionally connect with yourself. Where you don’t try to do more to sort of take action and be productive to prove your worth. Instead what you’re doing is just enjoying being without producing. Getting into that energy of flow and enjoyment in your own life.
That is really what time management is about. It’s certainly what stopping overscheduling is about. It’s stopping the busy, stopping the overwhelm, being more intentional. Saying no to what isn’t serving you right now so that you get back your inner peace, and it’s easier for you to manage your mind. You can live in your values, in your priorities in this way. All right my friends. That’s what I have for you this week. I will talk with you next week. Take care.
If you loved this podcast, you’re going to love Grow You. Grow You is my virtual life coaching program where I take everything on the podcast to the next level. I invite you to join our amazing community of women and moms and deepen your own personal development. Head on over to momonpurpose.com/coaching to learn more.