As a former lawyer, certified coach, and mom of three boys under four, I know firsthand what it feels like to be driven—to crave excellence, to thrive on growth, and to set high standards for everything from your goals to your grocery list.

I also know what it’s like to feel overwhelmed, constantly rushed, and a little disconnected from the version of motherhood you always thought you’d have.

Over the last five years I’ve gone from being in my “doer” energy to becoming a calm, present mom—and I still have my ambitious side that allows me to achieve my goals.

What most people get wrong is they think it’s either/or—either you can be ambitious and high achieving or you can be slow, calm and present. That’s just not true.

What Is Slow Motherhood—Really?

Slow motherhood isn’t about being LESS ambitious. It’s about calming down the buzzing in your mind and body so that your experience of your days are light as a feather.

Meaning, you can still have incredibly high standards, but instead of thinking it’s “not enough” you feel calm, present, and connected each and every day (no matter what is going on).

I’ve coached hundreds of moms to transform their identities from being in the “go-go-go” doer energy to maintaining their drive but calming down so that life feels better each and every day.

Slow motherhood is a feeling. It’s about feeling present, feeling calm, feeling connected. You can plan, schedule, and create the life you want that’s full of activities, vacations, etc. But your experience of it won’t overwhelm you in slow motherhood.

YOU are slow. You feel slow. A tantrum doesn’t knock you off your game. Changes to the schedule, sick kids, all the “chaos” is part of it and you are delighted for this to be your main role, as mom.

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Why High Achieving Moms Struggle With Slowness

High-achieving moms are motivated, responsible, thoughtful, and we care deeply about doing things well.

But here’s the problem: motherhood isn’t a job you can crush with checklists and color-coded systems (though trust me, I’ve tried).

You can’t “optimize” a toddler’s emotions. You can’t out-plan a stomach bug. And no matter how productive you are, the laundry will never actually be done.

Slowness feels hard for high-achieving women because we’ve spent most of our lives being rewarded for fast-paced doing. We associate value with output. Productivity feels safe. Accomplishment feels like purpose.

So when things slow down—when the baby’s napping or your day has more margin—it doesn’t feel good. It feels wrong. It feels like you’re wasting time. Like you should be doing something more.

This is where the inner conflict starts. You want to enjoy motherhood. You want to be present. But your brain is wired for hustle. And slowness feels threatening to that identity.

What I want you to know is: there’s nothing wrong with you. This tension is normal. It makes sense. But it’s also why so many capable, brilliant women feel unfulfilled in the very role they longed for most.

Slowness requires a nervous system shift. A mindset shift. An identity shift. Not to become someone else—but to become the version of you who leads with presence and power.

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What The Struggle Looks Like In Real Life

Here are 10 real-life examples of what it actually looks like when high-achieving moms struggle to slow down—before they shift into slow motherhood:

  1. You’re emptying the dishwasher, answering a text, and mentally reviewing your to-do list—all before 7 a.m.—and already feel behind.
  2. You snap at your kids for being “too slow” even when there’s nowhere urgent to be—you just hate falling behind your internal schedule.
  3. You plan trips, activities, and vacations but you struggle to actually enjoy them.
  4. Your calendar is so packed and you’re constantly rushed.
  5. Rest feels wrong. If you sit on the couch or lie down while the kids nap, your brain starts spinning with guilt and pressure to “get ahead.”
  6. The day feels like a blur and no matter how much you get done it’s never enough.
  7. When something doesn’t go as planned (a sick kid, canceled appointment, traffic), you get easily frustrated, mad, snap or yell.
  8. Your mind wanders at playtime. You don’t feel present.
  9. Your brain races at night; it won’t shut off.
  10. Your life looks amazing on paper but on the inside it feels off.

How To Start Feeling Slow While Still Being High Achieving

The key to feeling slow is to work on your thoughts and feelings. Why? Because thoughts create feelings. Feeling slow means you feel slow in your body. The way to do that is to think thoughts that help you feel calm, grounded, and present.

At the same time, you can still plan, do activities, work, live your best high-achieving life.

By working on the internal, you’ll create a new experience of being both high achieving and slow inside.

This isn’t about doing less. It’s about feeling different while you do it.

Here are a few steps to get started:

  1. When you’re feeling rushed, hurried, or in that go-go-go energy, pause and name it. Say, “I’m feeling rushed right now.”
  2. Take three breaths.
  3. Repeat the mantra, “I can be slow and do what I’m doing.”
  4. Then out of the moment do the thought work I teach inside the Mom On Purpose Membership to create better feeling thoughts ahead of time.

What It Will Look Like When You Start Living This Way

  • You walk through a messy house and don’t immediately tense up—you keep moving, knowing it’ll get done when it needs to.
  • You hear your child whining and instead of snapping, you stay calm and respond with patience—even if it’s the 12th time that day.
  • You sit on the floor and play for five minutes without thinking about your to-do list.
  • You plan a full day (meals, activities, work, bedtime)—and enjoy it, without the pressure to rush through it all.
  • You still have high standards, but now they feel empowering, not exhausting.
  • You pause between tasks instead of jumping from one thing to the next.
  • You go to bed with things still undone but don’t spiral—your body feels relaxed, not tight.
  • You laugh more. Like, genuinely. Even on the busy days.
  • You feel connected to your role as a mom—even when things are chaotic.
  • You experience a deep sense of peace knowing you’re showing up fully as you, not just as a list of things accomplished.

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A Final Note

You don’t have to give up your ambition to feel peace. You don’t have to lower your standards, stop achieving, or suddenly become someone who loves sitting still for hours.

You get to be both.

You get to be the woman who shows up for her goals and for herself.
The mom who’s present and powerful.
The high-achiever who leads with calm, grounded energy.

Slow motherhood isn’t about changing your entire life. It’s about changing how you experience your life.

And that shift? It starts inside. 💗