In the fast-paced rhythm of modern motherhood, the art of being a present mom can feel downright impossible, like you’re always falling short.
I’m here to tell you that you’re not doing anything wrong! Our constantly beeping cell phones, our overbooked calendars, and our best attempts at “doing it all” make it so hard to show up as the moms we want to be.
That said, there are ways you can make small changes, set specific intentions, and without much more effort create a lot of change so you feel like you’re actually more present as a mom.
How To Be A Present Mom
In this post I’m sharing 11 present parenting tips and ideas to help you be a more present mom and show up as the mom you want to be.
With that, let’s dive in!
1. Schedule your own self-care in advance
Scheduling your own self-care in advance is crucial for maintaining your well-being as a parent. Amidst the chaos of daily life, it’s easy to overlook your own needs in favor of attending to your children. However, neglecting self-care can lead to burnout and hinder your ability to be present for your family. By proactively setting aside time for self-care activities such as exercise, meditation, or simply indulging in a hobby, you prioritize your mental and physical health. This not only replenishes your energy reserves but also sets a positive example for your children, showing them the importance of self-care and balance in life. By making self-care a non-negotiable part of your schedule, you ensure that you have the capacity to show up fully present for your children when they need you most.
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2. Regularly spend 1:1 time with your kids
Regularly spending one-on-one time with your kids is a cornerstone of present parenting. In our fast-paced world, it’s easy for family time to become fragmented or overshadowed by other commitments. However, carving out dedicated moments for individual bonding strengthens the parent-child relationship and fosters deeper connections. Whether it’s a shared hobby, a walk in the park, or a cozy reading session, these intimate moments create cherished memories and build trust. By giving each child undivided attention, you demonstrate your love and commitment, fostering their emotional well-being and sense of belonging. This intentional investment in quality time not only enriches your relationship with your kids but also lays the foundation for open communication and mutual understanding.
3. Mind your feet (keep your attention where your feet are)
“Minding your feet,” or keeping your attention focused on the present moment, is a powerful practice in present parenting. In today’s world filled with distractions, it’s easy to get caught up in worries about the future or regrets about the past, causing us to miss out on the beauty and opportunities of the present. By staying grounded and mindful of where your feet are, you cultivate a sense of presence that allows you to fully engage with your kids. Whether you’re playing together, having a conversation, or simply sharing a meal, being fully present enriches these moments and strengthens your connection with your children. By modeling mindfulness, you also teach your kids the importance of being present in their own lives, fostering a deeper appreciation for the richness of each moment.
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4. Give your child their love language
Giving your child their love language is a transformative way to connect on a deeper level and truly be present as a parent. Just as adults have different preferences for how they receive love and affection, children also have unique love languages that speak to their hearts. Whether it’s quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, or receiving gifts, understanding and catering to your child’s love language communicates love in a way that resonates with them most deeply. By speaking their love language, you not only make them feel valued and understood but also create a strong foundation for trust and emotional security. Pay attention to their cues, observe what brings them joy, and tailor your expressions of love accordingly. This intentional effort to speak their love language fosters a profound sense of connection and belonging, nurturing a bond that flourishes with authenticity and presence.
5. Put your phone away
Putting your phone away is a simple yet powerful way to be a more present mom. In today’s digital age, it’s all too easy to get caught up in the constant stream of notifications, emails, and social media updates, often at the expense of quality time with your kids. By consciously setting aside your phone and removing distractions, you create a sacred space for undivided attention and meaningful interaction with your children. Whether you’re playing together, having a conversation, or simply enjoying each other’s company, being fully present without the distraction of your phone allows you to savor these moments and strengthen your connection. Your kids will appreciate having your full attention and feel valued, knowing that they are the focus of your time and energy. By prioritizing presence over technology, you create lasting memories and cultivate a deeper bond with your children that transcends the digital noise of everyday life.
6. Get into their world
Getting into their world is an invaluable approach to being a present mom. It involves immersing yourself in your child’s interests, passions, and experiences, even if they differ from your own. Whether it’s playing their favorite game, listening to their music, or exploring their hobbies, taking the time to understand and engage with what matters to them shows that you value their perspective and cherish their uniqueness. By stepping into their world, you create opportunities for shared experiences and meaningful connections, deepening your bond and fostering a sense of mutual understanding and respect. This intentional effort to bridge the gap between generations not only strengthens your relationship with your child but also allows you to witness the world through their eyes, gaining insight and perspective that enriches both your lives.
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7. Connect before your correct
“Connect before you correct” encapsulates a profound approach to present parenting. Before addressing behaviors or offering guidance, prioritizing connection establishes a foundation of trust and understanding between you and your child. By taking the time to empathize, listen, and validate their feelings, you create a safe space for open communication and collaboration. Whether they’re expressing frustration, excitement, or confusion, validating their emotions before addressing the issue demonstrates empathy and respect for their perspective. This empathetic connection strengthens your bond and fosters a sense of mutual respect, making it easier for your child to accept guidance and correction when needed. By prioritizing connection over correction, you cultivate a positive and supportive relationship built on trust, empathy, and unconditional love.
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8. Set clear boundaries between work and home
Setting clear boundaries between work and home life is essential for being a present mom. In today’s interconnected world, it’s easy for the lines to blur, leading to constant distractions and a lack of focus on family time. By establishing clear boundaries, you create dedicated space and time for both work and family, allowing you to be fully present in each role. Whether it’s designating specific hours for work, creating a designated workspace, or implementing technology-free zones during family time, setting boundaries communicates your commitment to being present for your kids. This intentional separation not only reduces stress and overwhelm but also ensures that you can give your children the attention and quality time they deserve without the intrusion of work-related distractions. By prioritizing family time and honoring these boundaries, you create a healthy balance that allows you to thrive both personally and professionally while being fully present for your children.
9. Manage mom guilt
Managing mom guilt is crucial for being a present mom. Despite our best efforts, feelings of guilt can often creep in, leading us to question our parenting decisions and abilities. However, it’s important to recognize that mom guilt is a common experience shared by many mothers and doesn’t reflect our worth as parents. Instead of dwelling on feelings of guilt, practice self-compassion and remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can with the resources and knowledge you have. Take time to reflect on your values and priorities as a parent, and focus on the positive moments and successes, no matter how small they may seem. Seeking support from other moms or a trusted friend can also help alleviate feelings of isolation and provide perspective. By reframing mom guilt as an opportunity for growth and learning, you can cultivate resilience and confidence in your parenting journey, allowing you to be more present and engaged with your children.
10. Repeat helpful mindset mantras
Repeating helpful mindset mantras can be a powerful tool for being a present mom. These affirmations serve as gentle reminders to stay grounded, focused, and positive amidst the challenges of parenting. Whether it’s “I am doing my best,” “Progress, not perfection,” or “My presence matters more than perfection,” these mantras help cultivate self-compassion and resilience in the face of uncertainty. By consciously integrating these affirmations into your daily routine, you reinforce a mindset of patience, acceptance, and gratitude, allowing you to navigate the ups and downs of motherhood with grace and confidence. Whenever you feel overwhelmed or doubt yourself, return to these mantras as anchors of strength and reassurance, empowering you to show up fully present for your children and yourself.
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11. Give yourself grace
Giving yourself grace is essential for being a present mom. Parenthood is filled with moments of joy, but it’s also accompanied by challenges and setbacks. In those moments when you feel like you’ve fallen short or made mistakes, it’s important to extend kindness and understanding to yourself. Recognize that you’re only human and that perfection is an impossible standard. Embrace your imperfections and learn from them, knowing that they’re an integral part of the journey. Instead of dwelling on self-criticism or guilt, practice self-compassion and forgive yourself for any perceived shortcomings. Treat yourself with the same love and patience that you would offer to your children, knowing that you’re doing the best you can with the resources and knowledge you have. By giving yourself grace, you create space for growth, resilience, and joy in your role as a mom, allowing you to be fully present and engaged with your children.
A Final Note
In the whirlwind of motherhood, it’s easy to lose sight of the present moment amidst the chaos of daily life. Yet, by embracing these eleven tips and ideas, you can cultivate a deeper sense of presence in your role as a mom. Remember, being a present mom isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up with love, compassion, and intentionality, one moment at a time. As you embark on this journey of present parenting, may you find joy, fulfillment, and countless precious memories that enrich both your life and the lives of your children. Here’s to embracing the beauty of the present moment and savoring the magic of motherhood, one day at a time!
