Becoming a mom changes you in ways you never imagined. For me, as a Type-A, high-achieving former lawyer, motherhood challenged my sense of control, structure, and perfectionism in the most unexpected ways. Having three boys in three years only intensified those challenges—bringing with it a whirlwind of joy, chaos, and transformation.

As I navigate this journey, I realize that thriving in motherhood isn’t just about managing schedules or maintaining order (though those things certainly help!). It’s about shifting my mindset to embrace the beautiful mess of raising kids while letting go of the unrealistic expectations I once held.

I’ve come to believe that mindset is the key to thriving as a Type-A mom. The right mindset can turn stressful moments into opportunities for growth, transform chaos into connection, and help you find joy even in the midst of the mess. Over the years, I’ve discovered and cultivated a set of mindsets that have helped me not only survive but truly thrive as a mom of young boys.

In this post, I’m sharing my favorite mindsets that have empowered me to stay calm, embrace the chaos, find joy in the everyday, and balance my perfectionism with flexibility.

I hope these mindsets—and the accompanying mantras—will inspire and support you on your own journey through motherhood.

Why A Strong Mindset Is Crucial For Type-A Moms

As a Type-A mom, you’re probably familiar with the constant need to do more, be more, and have everything in perfect order—especially when raising multiple kids. It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that everything has to be controlled, managed, and done to the highest standard. But motherhood, especially when you have three boys in three years, will challenge you in ways you never expected. The truth is, no amount of planning or perfectionism can fully prepare you for the messy, unpredictable beauty of raising little ones.

That’s where mindset becomes your greatest asset.

A strong mindset allows you to embrace the inevitable chaos while still maintaining a sense of calm and purpose. It helps you shift from feeling overwhelmed and frustrated to being more flexible and present in the moment. Instead of constantly battling your Type-A tendencies, a well-cultivated mindset allows you to harness them when needed but also know when to let go and simply enjoy the journey.

Mindset isn’t just about staying positive—it’s about resilience, adaptability, and giving yourself the grace to learn and grow through every challenge. When you focus on cultivating a strong mindset, you’re not only taking care of yourself, but you’re also modeling healthy emotional habits for your children. And in the end, that’s one of the most powerful gifts you can give them.

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Type-A Mom Mindsets

Here are my favorite Type-A mom mindsets.

1. Mindsets For Staying Calm And Patient

1. This Isn’t About Me
Mindset: My kids’ dysregulation or moments of acting out aren’t about me; they’re about what’s going on for them.
Mantra: “This isn’t about me.”

2. Pause Before Reacting
Mindset: Take a deep breath before responding to stressful situations. This small pause helps you respond calmly instead of reacting impulsively.
Mantra: “Slowness brings me to calm”

3. Focus on the Bigger Picture
Mindset: Ask yourself, “Will this matter in a year?” when faced with a challenge. Most frustrations are temporary and don’t deserve a big emotional reaction.
Mantra: “I focus on what truly matters, and let the rest go.”

4. Let Go of What You Can’t Control
Mindset: You can’t control everything—especially your children’s moods or actions. Focus on what you can control: your reactions.
Mantra: “Focusing on what I can control helps me be the mom I want to be.”

5. Stay Present
Mindset: Ground yourself in the present moment when you feel impatient. Be mindful of your surroundings and let go of distractions to fully connect with your children.
Mantra: “There’s nothing more important I could be doing.”

6. My Feelings Aren’t Who I am
Mindset: You can feel any emotion without making it mean that’s who you are as a mom.
Mantra: “I feel overwhelmed, but that’s not who I am; I’m an amazing mom.”

7. Choose to Respond with Love
Mindset: In moments of frustration, remind yourself to choose love. Reframing your response from anger to care helps you stay calm.
Mantra: “I respond with love, even in the most challenging moments.”

8. Celebrate Small Wins
Mindset: Recognize and celebrate small successes—whether it’s getting through the morning routine or finding a moment of calm.
Mantra: “I celebrate every small victory as progress in my journey.”

9. Practice Gratitude
Mindset: In challenging moments, pause and think of one thing you’re grateful for. This shifts your mindset from frustration to appreciation.
Mantra: “I am grateful for the blessings in this moment, no matter how small.”

10. Affirm: ‘I Am a Calm and Patient Mom’
Mindset: Use this affirmation regularly to reinforce your identity as a calm and patient mom. The more you say it, the more your mind believes it.
Mantra: “I am calm, I am patient, I am grounded in love.”

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2. Mindsets For Embracing The Chaos

1. Embrace Flexibility
Mindset: Parenting rarely goes as planned. Instead of resisting the chaos, lean into flexibility and adapt to what the day brings.
Mantra: “I flow with the changes and embrace what comes my way.”

2. Find Joy in the Mess
Mindset: There’s beauty in the chaos of motherhood—messy playrooms, loud laughter, and impromptu adventures. Find joy in the imperfections and unpredictability.
Mantra: “I find joy in the beautiful mess of motherhood.”

3. Laugh When Things Get Crazy
Mindset: Sometimes the best way to handle chaos is with a sense of humor. When things get wild, choose laughter over stress.
Mantra: “I choose to laugh through the craziness, letting joy lead the way.”

4. Trust That You Can Handle It
Mindset: No matter how overwhelming things may feel, trust that you are strong enough to handle it. You’ve managed before and you will again.
Mantra: “I trust myself to handle anything that comes my way.”

5. Release the Need for Control
Mindset: Trying to control every detail only adds stress. Release the need to control and instead focus on navigating the chaos with grace.
Mantra: “I release control and embrace the flow of life.”

6. Chaos Is Temporary
Mindset: Remember that chaotic moments are temporary, and they will pass. The storm always calms, so ride it out with patience.
Mantra: “This chaos is temporary, and I will find peace on the other side.”

7. Let Go of Expectations
Mindset: When you let go of rigid expectations and allow room for spontaneity, you create space for unexpected joy and connection.
Mantra: “I let go of expectations and embrace whatever comes my way.”

8. Focus on Connection Over Perfection
Mindset: In chaotic moments, prioritize connection with your children over trying to make everything perfect. Building bonds matter more than tidy outcomes.
Mantra: “I choose connection over perfection, knowing love is what matters most.”

9. See the Chaos as Growth
Mindset: Every chaotic moment offers an opportunity for growth—both for you and your children. Embrace these moments as chances to grow stronger and more resilient.
Mantra: “I grow through chaos, becoming stronger and wiser with each challenge.”

10. Surrender to the Moment
Mindset: Sometimes, the best way to embrace the chaos is to surrender to the moment, allowing yourself to be fully present without resistance.
Mantra: “I surrender to the moment, allowing myself to be fully present in the chaos.”

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3. Mindsets For Finding Joy In Everyday Moments

1. Be Present in the Small Moments
Mindset: Joy often hides in the small, ordinary moments—like morning cuddles or spontaneous giggles. Being fully present allows you to savor these fleeting experiences.
Mantra: “I am fully present, finding joy in the small, simple moments.”

2. Celebrate the Ordinary
Mindset: Everyday life is full of moments worth celebrating, even if they seem mundane. Shift your focus to the little victories and moments of peace.
Mantra: “I celebrate the beauty of the ordinary and find joy in the everyday.”

3. Focus on What You Have
Mindset: Gratitude brings you back to what’s good in your life. By focusing on what you have, rather than what you lack, you open yourself up to more joy.
Mantra: “I am grateful for all that I have, and joy flows through me.”

4. Practice Mindfulness
Mindset: By practicing mindfulness, you can tune into the sensations, sounds, and emotions of each moment, making even the most routine tasks more joyful.
Mantra: “I live mindfully, experiencing each moment with gratitude and joy.”

5. Find Joy in the Journey, Not the Destination
Mindset: Rather than rushing through life, enjoy the journey. Even when things don’t go as planned, there is joy to be found along the way.
Mantra: “I find joy in the journey and embrace the beauty of the present moments

6. Seek Joy in the Chaos
Mindset: Even on the most chaotic days, there are moments of joy waiting to be discovered—whether in a shared laugh or a quiet moment with your children.
Mantra: “I seek joy, even amid chaos, and cherish these precious moments.”

7. See the Magic in the Mundane
Mindset: There’s magic in everyday life, from a quiet cup of coffee to watching your children play. When you look for it, the mundane can become magical.
Mantra: “I see the magic in the everyday, and it fills my heart with joy.”

8. Slow Down and Savor
Mindset: Life can feel like a blur, but by consciously slowing down, you can savor the simple pleasures that bring you joy, like a warm meal or a peaceful walk.
Mantra: “I slow down and savor life’s simple joys with an open heart.”

9. Cherish the Ordinary Days
Mindset: Not every day is extraordinary, but those ordinary days are the foundation of a joyful life. Cherish them for the comfort and connection they offer.
Mantra: “I cherish the ordinary days, knowing they are the heart of a joyful life.”

10. Find Joy in Connection
Mindset: Connection with your children, your partner, or yourself brings joy to even the simplest moments. Nurture those connections to find deeper joy daily.
Mantra: “I find joy in the deep connections I build with those I love.”

4. Mindsets For Balancing Perfectionism And Flexibility

1. Progress Over Perfection
Mindset: Aim for progress rather than perfection. Let go of the need to get everything exactly right and focus on moving forward, even in small steps.
Mantra: “I celebrate progress, not perfection, and embrace growth in every step.”

2. Be Kind to Yourself
Mindset: Self-compassion is essential. Recognize that perfectionism can be harsh, but you have the power to be gentle with yourself when things don’t go perfectly.
Mantra: “I show myself kindness and grace, letting go of the need to be perfect.”

3. Allow for Flexibility
Mindset: Life isn’t rigid, and neither should your plans be. Allow for flexibility when things don’t go as expected, and know that adapting is a strength, not a failure.
Mantra: “I am flexible and adaptable, flowing with life’s changes.”

4. Let Go of Control
Mindset: Releasing control doesn’t mean giving up—it means accepting that some things are outside your control. Flexibility allows you to thrive in these moments.
Mantra: “I let go of control and trust that things will unfold as they should.”

5. Perfection is an Illusion
Mindset: Understand that perfection is an illusion and often unattainable. Embrace imperfection as a natural part of life, knowing that it’s where growth happens.
Mantra: “I release the illusion of perfection and find beauty in imperfection.”

6. Flexible Plans Are Still Valuable
Mindset: A flexible plan is still a plan. Just because things change doesn’t mean you’re off track. Being adaptable allows you to succeed in the long run.
Mantra: “I create flexible plans that allow for growth and change.”

7. Embrace ‘Good Enough’
Mindset: Sometimes “good enough” is exactly what you need. Perfectionism can rob you of satisfaction, so give yourself permission to embrace what is simply good enough.
Mantra: “I embrace ‘good enough’ and find peace in knowing I’ve done my best.”

8. Perfectionism Isn’t the Path to Success
Mindset: Perfectionism can actually hold you back from taking action. Let go of the belief that everything must be perfect to succeed; progress and flexibility lead to growth.
Mantra: “I move forward with flexibility and progress, knowing that perfection isn’t necessary for success.”

9. Flexibility Enhances Resilience
Mindset: Being flexible doesn’t mean being weak—it means being resilient. The ability to adapt in the face of change helps you bounce back stronger.
Mantra: “I am resilient, and my flexibility allows me to thrive in any situation.”

10. Perfection is the Enemy of Joy
Mindset: Constantly striving for perfection can steal your joy. By letting go of the need to perfect every detail, you create more room for happiness and fulfillment.
Mantra: “I release perfectionism and welcome joy and fulfillment into my life.”

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A Final Note

Motherhood is an incredible journey—one that can stretch us in ways we never thought possible. As a Type-A mom, learning to navigate the chaos, find joy in the everyday, and balance my natural drive for perfection with the flexibility needed to raise three young boys has been both challenging and rewarding. The mindsets I’ve shared here have been my guiding light through it all, helping me to not only keep it together but to thrive.

Remember, it’s not about being the perfect mom; it’s about showing up each day with intention, kindness, and an openness to growth. By cultivating these mindsets, you can create more peace, joy, and fulfillment in your life as a mom—no matter how wild the ride gets. Take these mantras with you and trust that with the right mindset, you can thrive in any season of motherhood.