Weight Loss For Moms (And My Weight Loss Journey)

Welcome to Mom On Purpose, where it’s all about helping moms overcome challenges and live their best lives. My hope is by being here, you are more inspired to become the mom you are made to be. I’m Natalie, your host, a wife, boy, mom, dog, mama, Chicagoan, and former lawyer turned professionally certified coach. If you’re here to grow, I can help. Let’s go.

Hello, my beautiful friend. How are you? How is this new year going so far? Are you on track? We are just one week in and I want to check in with you and see how your goals are going. So just take a minute, answer the question, how am I doing so far this year? What are my thoughts about the upcoming year and about my likelihood of creating the changes in my life that I want to create? Said differently? Are you believing in yourself?

That is such a gift you can give yourself because you can think anything. So you really can believe whatever you want about your future, your likelihood of success, all the things. So today, more specifically, I want to talk with you about my weight loss journey and just in general how I help moms lose weight and how I can help you lose weight if this is one of your goals. I know that many of you, many of my clients set some sort of health goal, weight loss goal, changing your eating habits goal at the start of a new year. I love the momentum of the new year. I think you can jump on the kind of bandwagon of, wanting to lose weight this time of year, but what I want to help you do even more than that is be able to maintain that throughout the year.

So the way that you think about weight loss in January is the same way you think about it in May, is the same way you think about it in November. And if you just pause and think about your mindset in all of those months, it’s very likely that it’s different. And that is where the problem is because I think for most people it is easiest to follow through with the New Year’s resolution or the goal around the beginning of the year. And it gets increasingly harder as things come up that we know come up. And yet we still choose not to focus on our goals and then we get mad at the end of the year. So none of that, we’re going to clean all of that up. And I want to share with you really like the transformations that I’ve had with respect to my weight and dive deep into that.

I haven’t done that before in its own podcast. And I think it’ll be really helpful because I’ve talked about in generally how I’ve lost 25 pounds when I first learned these tools and then I’ve gained, you know, 40 pounds with each pregnancy and more in my last one and lost all of it, and I’m going to be, you know, losing the weight for my most recent pregnancy. That’s what I’m going through right now. And so it’s kind of on the top of my mind and I have kind of said all of that generally before, but I want you to know what it was really like for me before I lost any of the weight. So up until I was in my mid twenties, I just thought that I was a little bit thicker. I thought that I was always going to be the weight that I was because that was like my body’s set point.

And of course, as I know now, that just was a limiting belief that I had about myself. So for a while I continued to live into that. Not surprisingly, my weight was what it was and I ate in a way that continued to keep that as the result. So you’re always creating results with your weight. Whatever you weigh now, you are creating more of that by the way that you live your life, by the way that you eat, by the way that you move your body. And you will continue to do that unless you change the way that you eat and move your body. And the way that you change your eating and how you’re moving your body is from changing your mindset and your feelings because eating is an action. Moving your body is an action. And I think that’s why it’s so easy to do around the beginning of the year because everyone is encouraging you to have a mindset towards working on your goals.

You turn on the news, turn on social media, anything. And, and pretty much most people are talking about habits and goal setting and the new year and it’s just really energizing. And it’s so awesome because it provides easy mindset shifts for you to have. Like maybe this is possible, this is the year I’m going to do it. Like let’s go, I’m ready. That is not what’s happening in May when everyone’s talking about summer and vacations. Definitely not what’s happening in October, November when everyone’s talking about the holidays. And so the work here is to change your mindset in a way that is permanent and long lasting. And circling back to my story, that’s really what I had to do. I decided that I was no longer going to identify as someone who weighed 25 pounds more than I wanted to weigh as like my normal set point.

I decided I was going to be someone who weighed 25 pounds less because that is what I wanted for my body. Not because I hated my body, not because I didn’t like my body, not because my body wasn’t good enough, not because other people’s bodies were better just because this is what I wanted for my body. So I had a very abundant mindset when I finally decided to lose the weight permanently. By the way, there is a permanent weight loss class inside the Mom On Purpose Membership and many members have lost five pounds, 10 pounds, 25 pounds, 50 pounds using my process. I was just talking to a client and she was telling me about how within the first two months of joining the membership, she lost all 25 pounds, that she had been trying to lose for a while. That was from her pregnancy and she was able to do it through the planning and mindset tools that I teach.

So, if you haven’t tried that, if you haven’t taken that course, I definitely, recommended that you give it a try. So the reason that I created this course and the reason that it worked for me and works for many of my clients is because of the way that I think about weight loss and the neutrality of it as just another change, just another transformation. So you’ve heard me talk about my transformations before, transforming from someone who’s really type A and rigid to being more grounded and patient and transforming my body is just another way to utilize these tools. I did the same thing with, creating a life without alcohol, stopping drinking booze. I continue to use these tools and because of that, it’s not complicated, it’s very simple and I know that weight loss is hard for a lot of people, but I actually want to create a different narrative around it because I think if you expect it to be hard and you plan for it to be hard and you think that hard is the only way, it can be so overwhelming and you can have so many past stories of how it didn’t work, kind of filtering your mindset that it can stop you from even wanting to try.

It’s kind of like, well, what’s the point if it’s that terrible, if it’s that hard? And that just was not my experience at all. And I promise you my friend, I was someone who carried this extra weight for my entire, like adult life. So I don’t know from the age of 15 until, you know, 25 or 30, I had those 25 pounds that I wanted to lose. And losing it in this way and just keeping it off, but for my pregnancies, in which case I did lose the weight after those pregnancies, was something that if you would’ve told me at age 25, I never would have believed you because I would’ve thought I have to give up all the sweets. I have to, you know, stop eating all the processed food. I have to change everything about the way that I’m eating and it just would feel so overwhelming.

And so I learned weight loss tools. Fun fact about me that you may not know. I’m actually trained as a certified weight loss coach because I focus so much on mindset in motherhood. I include the tools inside the Mom On Purpose Membership, but you don’t hear a ton about it in my marketing. So I’m not typically talking a ton about it. But I did want to bring it to you here because I know that for so many of you, you’re looking for a different opportunity to lose weight this year in a way that feels good and loving towards yourself and in a way that is easy. Now, easy doesn’t mean easy 100% of the time, but it does mean way easier than you’re making it way simpler. Here is the biggest problem that I really see with most other types of weight loss plans and programs.

They try to do too much at once. So it’s not just that you’re going to lose weight and go into a calorie deficit, it’s that we are going to overhaul all of your eating habits. So everything that your brain is used to eating your brain now has to stop enjoying. And that my friend, is why you experience so much restriction and withdrawal. So if you’re used to eating some fried food and some sugar and maybe some processed foods and you join a weight loss program and they tell you to get rid of all of that and to follow this plan about, you know, different types of protein and fiber and minimal carbs and all of that, which will work, it’s just so hard for your brain to do that effectively. And you can’t stop, you can’t ever go off that plan. So one of the pillars of the way that I teach weight loss that I really believe in is don’t do anything that you’re not willing to do forever, but for go into a calorie deficit.

So the way that you are going to plan your food is the way that you will continue to eat forever, except for you’re going to go into a little bit more of a calorie deficit as you are, you know, losing the weight and you’re going to monitor it and it’s going to be a very moderate approach, not based on withdrawal, but based on really loving yourself and you know, being, um, with yourself. And what I mean by that is, so at first you can fall into the trap of beating yourself up, right? And that’s just not helpful. It’s just mean and harsh and critical. And then what can happen is you can learn these tools and then you can realize, okay, I’m done. I am done beating myself up. And that is awesome, right? That is step one. That’s an accomplishment. Don’t beat yourself up, but when you’re not beating yourself up, I also don’t want you to not take it seriously.

So what I see happen from time to time is deciding, okay, I’m not going to beat myself up, so then I’m just going to let myself off the hook and say, you know what? It’s okay. At least I’m not beating myself up even though I had those cookies. That is, is not really what’s going to get you to lose weight. Yes, you need to stop beating yourself up, and also you need to give yourself some tough love. So I just love the visual of like being your own coach as like a basketball coach. We all can imagine if you haven’t been on teams before, what it’s like to have a harsh and critical coach or a coach who just doesn’t care. It’s kind of like the difference between authoritarian parenting versus permissive. On the one hand, you’re really strict and critical and mean, and on the other hand you just let everything go.

But in the middle is the coach who really cares. And as it applies to weight loss, that coach is going to say, Hey, we’re not going to, you know, beat you up over this, but let’s talk about it. What happened? Why’d you eat those cookies? Let’s take a look at the plan. Let’s see what’s not working. What were you feeling? Were you not processing your emotions? Let’s hold you accountable to what you’re trying to create for yourself. And that requires taking your goal and taking your weight loss transformation really seriously. And that I think is a mindset tool that you can just take with you with respect to any goal. I don’t mean too seriously and in terms of it being like excessively important, but I actually see people go towards the other end of the spectrum where they’re not taking it seriously enough and they’re kind of, just saying, oh, well, well it didn’t work out this time. And, and of letting yourself off the hook. I think what you can do is be your own coach and you know, come inside the membership and let me, you know, be your coach as well and I will hold you accountable and figure out what’s going on for you, what’s working and what’s not, and we will create a plan that works for you.

And through that level of commitment and seriousness, you can become the person who weighs what you want to weigh. I did not overhaul my eating habits. There are things that I cut out because I wanted to, you already know that I don’t drink alcohol. That was an easy one for me to just say like, this isn’t going to be a part of my life. And it, you know, reduces the calories that I intake for sure. And there are other things that I moderate with. I don’t abstain from, like, I abstain from alcohol, I moderate with sugar, I have a sweet tooth, but I know that I’m able to kind of maintain a little bit of sweets here and there without gaining weight. And it just comes from paying attention. This is why I love getting on the scale my friends, the scale is just information. What you make it mean about you is optional.

So when you decide to lose weight and get serious about it, you can do it in a really simple way. You can create a plan that is very simple and you can monitor your plan to see what is working and what’s not. My favorite way to do this for myself is to just eat less food. Like I don’t like to count calories, I don’t like to add food journaling. I do recommend food journaling if it’s something that you feel connected to and like it fits into your schedule. But for me, since I’ve lost weight so many times and you know, in the last three years I’ve had three pregnancies. So I’m sort of used to the process by now. I don’t need to use the food journal, but um, you know, you can kind of pick and choose if you want to use that or not.

I do though pay attention to the weight. So if I create a plan and I ate a certain way yesterday and then I get on the scale today and the weight is the same or higher, I know that my plan didn’t work. So I’m not going to do the same plan today and tomorrow and the next day I’m going to change the plan. That’s the type of awareness that I’m talking about. But it’s so simple. I don’t need to learn how to read labels and throw out all my food and overhaul my family’s eating lifestyle. I can just eat a little bit less. It’s so easy. I promise you it could be this easy for you too. Now, I do want to add a caveat here that I do think changing your eating habits is a worthwhile endeavor and giving up the processed food or, you know, cutting out fried food or limiting sugar, any types of foods that you genuinely don’t think have a positive impact on your body or your life, by all means cut those out.

Limit those, do that, but do that because you want to, not because you think you have to, to lose weight, it’s just not true. I love getting messages from clients. We have this space inside the portal where you can submit a win. And I get wins all of the time from clients who say things like, I had no idea that I could eat a piece of cake and lose weight. I just had to plan it. Like, yes, that is the key. It’s you taking ultimate responsibility for your body and what you put in it and you get to decide there are no bad “foods”. There are foods that will have consequences. So if you eat cake from sunup to sum down, that’s going to have a consequence. But it’s not cake’s fault. Cake isn’t to blame here. It’s the way that you’re using the cake, it’s the way that the cake impacts your body long term.

So I take the morality out of weight loss and it’s more like a science experiment. Let’s look at what’s working with your body, what’s not, and what you can try next. There are so many different ways to lose weight. I’m thinking back to a friend who wants went on a meat only diet, like she only ate meat the entire diet. And I was fascinated, it was amazing because I don’t eat meat. We eat fish, but we don’t really eat meat. And I was just like in awe of how she was using this as a tool to lose weight. And now today she is someone who takes a more balanced approach and she eats lots of different food groups, but you can do whatever you want with respect to food. And I think that there are benefits to changing your eating habits. What I see as a huge mistake is thinking that that is necessary to lose weight.

It makes it so much harder. So what I suggest is doing things one at a time. So let me give you an example. As I’m on my postpartum journey right now, losing weight, I will be practicing my tools of planning my food, eating less, experiencing some mild hunger, and paying attention to the scale as long as it’s going down right, I’m not in a rush, but generally speaking, is what I’m doing working, then I’m just going to keep doing that. And if it’s not working, I’m going to plug and play. Okay, maybe you’ve gotta cut out some of this and cut out some of that, try this next time. I personally, am a fan of intermittent fasting. It’s obviously a little bit different with breastfeeding and all of that, but in general I like to utilize different tools that help make it easy for me.

What I don’t do is put pressure on myself to change all of my eating habits that don’t serve me at the same time as I’m losing weight. So going back to what I recommend and what I do for myself is I do it one at a time. So let’s just say that I’m, you know, and it’s true, I’m on the postpartum weight loss journey. Once I lose all of my baby weight for this third pregnancy, then if I want to make another change to my eating habits, like cutting out all sugar or no longer eating any processed foods, something like that, that would be pretty drastic. I could do that. Then doing that as its own goal, separate and apart from weight loss is so important. I can’t stress this enough, most people mix ’em all together and so really they have like seven goals all wrapped up into one. And it is overwhelming and it’s too hard because your brain is used to eating in the way that it’s eaten to carry the weight that you’re carrying.

So the way that I recommend doing it is just creating a plan and using mindset tools to help you eat in a way that feels good to you. Going into a calorie deficit feeling and experiencing mild doable hunger in a way that leads to the results that you want. And then if you want to change any of your eating habits, go for it. Knock yourself out. This is what’s worked for me time and time again, the times where I’ve cut out alcohol and then cut out meat, I did those transformations that were not during weight loss periods. What I mean by that is they were their own kind of goal and transformation. I decided I was just going to stop eating meat except for seafood. That was something I focused on and did as its own thing. I wasn’t also trying to lose weight at the same time.

Same thing with alcohol. I cut out alcohol, haven’t drank alcohol, don’t drink, and I love that. For me, it has the benefit of not added calories to my kind of calorie total, but it wasn’t something that I worked on as I tried to lose weight that would’ve just been too hard for my brain. Too many changes. So now we gotta plan our food, we gotta cut out all the alcohol, we gotta do this. And it’s just too many changes at once. It’s the reason why I recommend not having more than one goal at a time. And so if you want to just lose weight, just focus on that. So after I lose all of my postpartum weight, for example, I want to strength train. This has been something on my mind for quite a while. It’s a desire that keeps coming up for me. I just want to get stronger, like get my muscles stronger.

So I’m going to do that, but I’m not trying to do it at the same time that I’m losing weight at the same time that I’m postpartum with my third child in three years. I don’t want to drive myself crazy, I don’t want to make it too hard on myself. I want to make it easy on myself and there’s no rush. I’m going to do all of these things like the time is going to go by. As long as you’re working on one transformation at a time, it really will work. And so I think I’m setting myself up for success in that way, and I think you can too. So if you want to lose weight permanently, and not only just do it once, but have the skillset for if you ever needed it again, which like in my case, I’ve needed three more times after losing my weight permanently because I got pregnant and I never once doubted my ability to lose the weight.

I never had drama about my body getting bigger. And that’s not because I’m a unicorn, it’s not because, you know, I don’t have thoughts about my body. It’s because I manage my thoughts. It’s because I choose intentionally how I think about my body and how I think about my capability to lose weight in the future. I tell myself I’m going to lose weight because I want to lose weight. I’m going to lose the baby weight because I want to lose the baby weight. Not because I have to, not because I’m better if I do, just because I like being a certain weight. So let’s do that and not make it a really big deal. Now obviously if you have biology things at play that are outside the scope of this, you will need some other type of professional help. But I’m not talking about that. And I think hopefully, um, for those of you listening, you know that, right?

It’s kind of like all of the tools here that I, that I teach, I’m talking about in general. If you are someone who has tried the typical ways of weight loss with programs that focus solely on actions and they give you this plan that not just requires you to, you know, go into a calorie deficit, but also requires you to change the foods that you’re eating at the same time, it is so overwhelming, it’s so hard for the brain, it becomes unmanageable and then you have life happening and your kids and your family and work and it just becomes not even worth it. And you’ll say, okay, I’ll wait till the time is right. I’ll wait till a different time. And that time never comes and a year goes by and then you’re re-energized again in January. Don’t do that to yourself my friend. I promise you.

Like having three kids in three years, oh my goodness. It’s just something I never even thought was possible for me. And to be able to do that and run a business and lose the weight each time and do it again without drama about it is only because I learned it one time and I applied it and now I just keep applying it with each pregnancy. And so it really is like its own tool set that you will have in your toolbox for any time that your weight changes. I do want to add in kind of a last note here. There are a lot of, members who I have coached with weight loss who are experiencing perimenopause. So a head of menopause and if you read information out there or statistics will talk about how it’s very common to gain weight. Let’s say you gain 10 pounds during this period and the hormonal changes, and that might be true, but if you are someone like my clients are who want to lose weight, who during this period, during this hormonal change, then it’s not helpful to focus on what is happening to most people.

Instead choose a mindset that serves you like, okay, maybe for some people they’ve gained weight during this change in hormones change in my life, but not me going through perimenopause. I am going to be someone who actually loses weight. I’m going to be the exception here. That is the type of mindset that you want to be telling yourself. So I’m really, really careful personally about the type of information that I’m consuming. If I know I have a goal, like I’m not going to search out how hard it is to lose weight, you know, with little kids or while breastfeeding or any of that stuff because I don’t want to make it harder on myself. I get to choose my thoughts no matter what anyone else tells me or what anyone else is thinking. And that is a gift you can give to yourself, my friend. And it’s going to make it either easier or harder for you to stick to your eating plan.

I cannot tell you how rewarding it is for me as a coach to see so many people lose weight who’ve wanted to lose weight for so long, who say, oh my gosh, I genuinely didn’t know it could be this easy. And I also didn’t know that I could still continue to eat some of the foods, like a piece of cake that I thought I would have to give up entirely. And it’s just not true. So if you are working on weight loss this year, come get the Permanent Weight Loss class and get coaching from me. I will be able to hold you accountable to your goals and work through all of the obstacles that are coming up for you. I do all the coaching in there, all the written coaching and all of the, group coaching that we do, and there will be other women inside the program.

We have hundreds of women in there doing this work. So join us so that this year you can actually learn how to lose weight permanently and have those tools anytime you need them. It is a gift to your current self, a gift to your future self and a gift to your family because you setting and achieving goals and creating the life and the body that you want is an example to your family, to everyone around you. It’s not about the weight. There is no like right or wrong weight. It’s not better or worse to be a certain number, but when you want something and you go after it and you get it, that my friend is inspiring, that my friend is setting an example that is powerful. So do that for yourself and then know the ripple effect will be great. I love you. Thanks for being here and I’ll talk with you next week. Take care.

Thank you for being here and listening. Now, head on over to momonpurpose.com/coaching to learn more about the Mom On Purpose Membership, where we take all of this work to the next level.