We are all human moms doing our best, and that means we make mistakes and get it wrong from time to time. If you’re reading this you probably care about personal growth, and that’s exactly what this post is about—identifying bad habits moms need to break so you can become your best self.
Bad Habits Moms Need To Break
The first step to change is awareness. By becoming aware of bad habits, you can better understand them and make a different choice in the future.
While this list will help you change your life, please don’t use it against yourself. That is never my intention. Meaning, don’t make any of these mean you’re a bad mom or you’re doing everything wrong. That couldn’t be further from the truth! You’re a really great mom and you’re a human mom! This means there’s always room for improvement.
With that, let’s dive into the 25 bad habits moms need to break!
1. Negative thinking
Negative thinking can be a detrimental habit that many moms unwittingly fall prey to. Constantly dwelling on worst-case scenarios or adopting a pessimistic outlook can not only impact a mother’s mental well-being but also influence the overall atmosphere in the household. Whether it’s doubting one’s parenting abilities, expecting the worst outcomes, or fixating on past mistakes, negative thinking can create unnecessary stress and hinder the ability to fully enjoy the precious moments of motherhood. Breaking free from this habit involves cultivating a more positive mindset, practicing gratitude, and embracing a constructive perspective that not only benefits the mom but also fosters a healthier family environment.
Resources:
2. Gossipping
Gossiping is a common habit that moms may engage in without realizing its potential negative impact. Constantly discussing the personal lives of others, sharing rumors, or participating in judgmental conversations can erode trust and create a toxic social environment. Beyond the harm it can cause to relationships, gossiping often leads to misunderstandings and can damage the sense of community among moms. Breaking free from the habit of gossip involves practicing empathy, focusing on positive and constructive conversations, and recognizing the value of maintaining a supportive and uplifting network of friends. By fostering an atmosphere of trust and understanding, moms can contribute to a healthier and more positive social circle.
3. Comparing yourself to other moms
Constantly comparing yourself to other moms is so normal, yet it’s also really unhelpful. Whether it’s scrutinizing parenting styles, achievements, or seemingly perfect family lives portrayed on social media, this habit can breed self-doubt and diminish self-esteem. Each mom’s journey is unique, and such comparisons often overlook the individual strengths and challenges that shape their experiences. Breaking free from this habit involves embracing one’s own strengths, recognizing personal accomplishments, and understanding that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to motherhood. By focusing on personal growth and celebrating individual achievements, moms can cultivate a more positive self-image and foster a supportive community that values diversity and the richness of each mother’s journey.
One of my favorite mantras for comparison is: My life isn’t suppose to look like her life.
4. Complaining
Frequent complaining is a habit that can cast a shadow over the joys of motherhood. Whether it’s about lack of sleep, household chores, or the challenges of parenting, constant complaints can contribute to a negative atmosphere. While it’s natural for moms to face difficulties, habitual complaining may overshadow the positive aspects of their experiences. Breaking free from this habit involves cultivating a mindset of gratitude, focusing on solutions rather than problems, and seeking support when needed. By shifting the focus towards the positive aspects of motherhood, moms can create a more optimistic environment for themselves and their families, fostering a sense of resilience and appreciation for the journey they are on.
Here’s a quick shift to get out of complaining: name the desire beneath the complaint. Instead of, “it’s miserable outside” say, “I’m desiring nicer weather.” When you name the wish, you get into much better energy and stop complaining.
5. People pleasing
The habit of people-pleasing can be a challenging pattern for many moms to break. Constantly seeking approval or trying to meet everyone else’s expectations can lead to exhaustion and a loss of personal identity. You may find yourself sacrificing your needs and desires in an attempt to please others, whether it’s family, friends, or societal expectations. Breaking free from this habit involves setting healthy boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and learning to say no when necessary. By embracing authenticity and focusing on their own well-being, you can foster a sense of empowerment and create a more balanced and fulfilling life for themselves and their families.
FREE DOWNLOAD: 20 Tools To Become The Mom You Want To Be
6. Multi-tasking
Constantly engaging in multitasking can become a habit that impacts your overall well-being as a mom. While the ability to juggle multiple tasks may seem like an essential skill, it often leads to increased stress and decreased focus on each individual responsibility. You might find yourself feeling overwhelmed and stretched thin, compromising the quality of your interactions and experiences. Breaking free from the multitasking habit involves prioritizing tasks, focusing on one thing at a time, and allowing yourself the space to be fully present in each moment. By adopting a more mindful and deliberate approach, you can enhance efficiency, reduce stress, and savor the meaningful moments of motherhood with greater clarity and satisfaction.
7. Ignoring your needs
Ignoring your own needs is a common habit that many moms struggle with. The demands of motherhood can be all-encompassing, making it easy to prioritize the needs of your family over your own. However, constantly neglecting self-care can lead to burnout and a diminished sense of well-being. It’s important to recognize that taking care of yourself is not selfish but essential for maintaining your physical and mental health. Breaking free from the habit of ignoring your needs involves setting aside dedicated time for self-care, seeking support when necessary, and understanding that your well-being directly impacts your ability to be a present and effective mom. By nurturing yourself, you not only replenish your energy but also contribute to creating a healthier and more balanced family dynamic.
8. Overeating
Overeating is a habit that can negatively impact your physical health and overall well-being. As a mom, it’s not uncommon to find comfort in food or succumb to stress-induced eating. However, habitual overeating can lead to weight gain, decreased energy levels, and potential health issues. Breaking free from this habit involves cultivating mindfulness around eating, recognizing emotional triggers, and developing healthier coping mechanisms for stress. By paying attention to hunger cues, practicing moderation, and choosing nourishing foods, you can establish a more balanced relationship with food. Taking care of your nutritional needs is not only essential for your own health but also sets a positive example for your family, promoting a healthier lifestyle overall.
Check out Mom On Purpose Membership and get the Permanent Weight Loss Course
9. Watching the news
Watching the news can become a habit that affects your mental well-being, especially for moms who may be sensitive to the often negative and distressing content. Constant exposure to news, particularly events that are beyond your control, can contribute to heightened stress and anxiety. It’s important to strike a balance between staying informed and preserving your mental health. Breaking free from the habit of constantly watching the news involves setting limits on media consumption, choosing reliable sources, and focusing on positive and uplifting information. By creating a healthier media routine, you can cultivate a more positive mindset and create a nurturing environment for yourself and your family.
Resources:
10. Overworking
Working too much is a habit that many moms may find themselves caught up in, balancing the demands of a career and motherhood. Constantly overcommitting to work can lead to burnout, increased stress, and a lack of quality time with your family. It’s crucial to recognize the importance of achieving a healthy work-life balance. Breaking free from the habit of working excessively involves setting clear boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and learning to delegate when possible. By creating a more balanced schedule, you can enhance your overall well-being, strengthen your connection with your family, and ensure that you have the energy and time to enjoy the precious moments of motherhood.
11. Putting your marriage on the back burner
Putting your marriage on the back burner is a habit that can have long-term consequences for both you and your partner. With the myriad responsibilities of motherhood, it’s easy to unintentionally neglect the relationship with your spouse. However, a healthy marriage is crucial for a supportive family environment. Breaking free from this habit involves prioritizing quality time with your partner, communicating openly about your needs and concerns, and finding ways to nurture your connection. By actively investing in your marriage, you not only strengthen the bond between you and your spouse but also create a stable foundation for your family. Remember, a thriving partnership contributes positively to your overall well-being and the well-being of your children.
12. Being on your phone constantly
Being on your phone constantly is a habit that can impact your presence and connection with your family. As a mom, it’s easy to get caught up in the digital world, whether it’s scrolling through social media, responding to messages, or browsing the internet. This habit can lead to decreased quality time with your loved ones and a sense of disconnection. Breaking free from the constant phone use involves setting boundaries, designating specific times for phone use, and prioritizing in-person interactions. By being more present with your family, you not only strengthen your relationships but also create a more meaningful and fulfilling environment for everyone. It’s essential to strike a balance between the virtual and real worlds to fully embrace the joys of motherhood.
13. Worrying
Worrying is a habit that many moms grapple with, often fueled by concerns about their children’s well-being, family dynamics, or the uncertainties of the future. While a certain level of concern is natural, constant worrying can take a toll on your mental and emotional health. Breaking free from the habit of excessive worry involves cultivating mindfulness, acknowledging the aspects you can control, and developing effective coping strategies. By focusing on the present moment, practicing self-compassion, and seeking support when needed, you can create a more positive mindset. Managing worry allows you to approach motherhood with greater resilience, enabling you to navigate challenges while savoring the precious moments with your family.
14. Endlessly cleaning
Endlessly cleaning is a habit that some moms may develop, driven by a desire for a perfectly tidy home. While maintaining a clean and organized living space is important, constant cleaning can become overwhelming and consume valuable time that could be spent with family or on self-care. Breaking free from the habit of endless cleaning involves setting realistic expectations, establishing a cleaning routine, and learning to prioritize tasks. It’s essential to find a balance between maintaining a comfortable living environment and allowing yourself the freedom to enjoy quality moments with your loved ones. By adopting a more balanced approach to cleaning, you create a healthier and happier atmosphere for both yourself and your family.
15. Busying
Constant busying, or staying excessively busy, is a habit that many moms may fall into as they try to manage various responsibilities. While being productive is essential, an unrelenting focus on staying busy can lead to burnout and hinder your ability to enjoy the present moments of motherhood. Breaking free from the habit of constant busying involves prioritizing tasks, setting realistic goals, and recognizing the importance of downtime. By allowing yourself moments of rest and relaxation, you can recharge and approach your responsibilities with renewed energy. Embracing a more balanced approach to busyness not only improves your well-being but also allows you to fully engage in the joyous and meaningful aspects of being a mom.
For this habit, repeat the mantra: I’m not supposed to do everything for everyone always.
16. Trying to solve your kids’ problems
Trying to solve your kids’ problems is a habit that many moms develop out of a natural inclination to protect and help their children. While it comes from a place of love, this habit can inadvertently hinder your kids’ development of problem-solving skills and independence. Breaking free from constantly solving their problems involves stepping back, allowing them to navigate challenges, and offering guidance rather than immediate solutions. By empowering your kids to think critically and make decisions on their own, you contribute to their growth and self-confidence. It’s important to strike a balance between providing support and giving them the space to learn and handle challenges independently, fostering resilience and self-reliance in the process.
Note: Inside the Mom On Purpose Membership, you get a Motherhood Toolkit that teaches you how to help your kids.
17. Basing your worth on your kids’ happiness
Basing your worth on your kids’ happiness is a habit that can lead to a fragile sense of self-esteem. While it’s natural for a mother to find joy in her children’s well-being, tying your self-worth solely to their happiness can be emotionally taxing and unsustainable. Breaking free from this habit involves recognizing that your value extends beyond your role as a parent. It’s essential to cultivate a strong sense of self, pursue personal interests, and prioritize your own happiness. By maintaining a healthy balance between your identity as an individual and your role as a mom, you can contribute positively to your children’s lives while fostering a more resilient and confident sense of self.
18. Caring too much about what other people think
Caring too much about what other people think is a habit that can significantly impact your well-being as a mom. Constantly seeking approval or worrying about the opinions of others can lead to stress, anxiety, and a diminished sense of self-confidence. Breaking free from this habit involves cultivating self-assurance, embracing authenticity, and understanding that you cannot please everyone. By focusing on your values, priorities, and personal growth, you can build a stronger sense of self-worth. Remember that, as a mom, your unique approach to parenting is valid, and it’s more important to stay true to yourself than to constantly seek external validation.
19. Punishing your kids
The traditional parenting model included punishment as the main driver of behavior modification. This led to kids fearing their parents and having a lot of shame about their goodness. There is a better way. A way of parenting without punishing. This doesn’t mean saying yes or being a push over. Instead, it means holding boundaries and teaching kids the skills they need to cooperate in a certain way. For example, if my child hits another child, I will remove my child, apologize, and teach my child it’s not okay to hit. But my child isn’t punished for that. My child may apologize and repair the relationship. Punishment here wouldn’t create the skills needed to not hit. Instead, it creates fear and shame. Parenting in an effective, strong way without punishments is a total game changer!
20. Identifying as an “overwhelmed mom”
Identifying as an “overwhelmed mom” is a habit that may inadvertently reinforce feelings of stress and fatigue. While it’s common for moms to experience overwhelming moments, labeling oneself exclusively as such can contribute to a negative self-perception. Breaking free from this habit involves acknowledging and addressing the challenges without letting them define your entire identity. It’s crucial to recognize that being a mom involves various roles and emotions, including moments of joy and accomplishment. Embracing a more nuanced perspective and seeking support when needed can help you navigate the complexities of motherhood with greater resilience and a healthier mindset.
Repeat this mantra: My feelings are valid. My overwhelm is valid. But that’s not who I am. I’m not an “overwhelmed mom” I’m a mom who feels overwhelmed and the difference is everything.
* Join me over on Instagram for more tips like this one @mom.onpurpose.
21. Yelling at your kids
Yelling at your kids is a habit that, when repeated, can have negative consequences for both you and your children. While it’s natural for parents to feel frustration at times, consistently resorting to yelling can create a tense and stressful atmosphere in the household. Breaking free from this habit involves finding alternative ways to communicate effectively and manage emotions. Practicing patience, employing active listening, and using constructive communication techniques can help diffuse tense situations. By addressing conflicts calmly and modeling positive behavior, you contribute to a healthier parent-child relationship and create a more nurturing environment for your family.
To learn how to calm down, listen to this podcast: Calm Down
22. Blaming time
Blaming time is a habit that some moms may develop, using the excuse of not having enough time as a reason for not addressing personal needs or pursuing passions. While time constraints are a reality, constantly blaming time can hinder personal growth and fulfillment. Breaking free from this habit involves prioritizing tasks, setting realistic goals, and making intentional choices about how to spend your time. By adopting effective time management strategies and recognizing that small, consistent efforts can lead to meaningful outcomes, you can overcome the tendency to blame time and create a more balanced and fulfilling life as a mom.
23. Deflecting compliments
Deflecting compliments is a habit that some moms may have, often downplaying their achievements or dismissing positive feedback. While humility is admirable, deflecting compliments excessively can contribute to a diminished sense of self-worth. Breaking free from this habit involves learning to accept compliments graciously and acknowledging your accomplishments. Embracing positive feedback not only boosts your confidence but also sets a positive example for your children. By recognizing and internalizing the affirmations from others, you contribute to a healthier self-perception and create a more positive atmosphere within yourself and your family.
DOWNLOAD: 10 Mama Mindset Mantras
24. Not asking for help
Not asking for help is a habit that many moms develop, often driven by a sense of independence or a desire to manage everything on their own. However, this habit can lead to burnout and increased stress. Breaking free from this habit involves recognizing when you need assistance and being willing to seek help. Whether it’s delegating tasks, sharing responsibilities with your partner, or reaching out to friends and family, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. By fostering a support network and recognizing the importance of collaboration, you can lighten your load and create a more balanced and sustainable approach to motherhood.
25. Keeping up with the Joneses
Keeping up with the Joneses is a habit that some moms may inadvertently fall into, constantly comparing their lifestyles, possessions, or achievements with those of others. This habit can lead to feelings of inadequacy and unnecessary stress. Breaking free from this habit involves embracing contentment with your own life, and recognizing that everyone’s journey is unique. Instead of focusing on external markers of success, prioritize your own values and goals. By letting go of the pressure to keep up with others, you can foster a sense of authenticity and satisfaction, contributing to a more fulfilling and less competitive approach to motherhood.
A Final Note
These habits are intended to help you bring awareness to how you might build your skillset of emotional and mental wellness tools to become the mom you WANT to be. They are not intended to make you feel bad, like you’re doing it wrong, or that you’re not enough. You are AMAZING just as you are! And from there, let’s grow and change and develop ourselves.
