Mental and emotional wellness for moms, is my passion! I’ve seen these tools work incredibly well to transform thousands of women’s lives, including my own. I can’t imagine my life without them!
There are 20 tools that are the most life changing because when you use them in your life they help you show up as the mom you WANT to be.
This means these tools help to reduce the pressure to do it all, drop the mom guilt, get out of the comparison trap, eliminate negative thinking, stop worrying, overcome parenting challenges, and more.
Before I dive into the list, download the free guide that includes the list of all 20 tools, with their descriptions, so you can use this guide any time you need it. CLICK HERE to download the free guide.
And with that, let’s dive in! Here is the complete list of the 20 tools to help you become the mom you want to be:
1. Drop the overwhelm
Your feelings are valid. Your overwhelm is valid. But you are not “an overwhelmed mom.” You are a mom who feels overwhelmed. The difference is everything.
2. Manage your mindset
Negative self talk makes motherhood harder and more stressful. By changing your thoughts with mindset management you can reduce stress and feel better every day.
3. Repair after mistakes
You’re a really great mom AND you’re a human mom who makes mistakes. When you mess up, apologize and repair the relationship through connection (without excuses).
4. Redefine success as a mom
You’re not failing as a mom, even if it feels like it. You just need to define success and failure based on things you can control, like how you show up (what you think, feel, and do).
5. Regulate to calm
Your nervous system is constantly scanning for danger. To navigate any challenge, the first step is to get to calm so you can move forward from a clear mind in the best way possible.
6. 10 minutes of silence
If busy is your drug of choice then sitting still will feel stressful. Break up with feeling busy by sitting still every day for an uninterrupted 10 minutes.
7. Stop resisting feelings
When you don’t want to feel anxious, anxiety will stick around longer. Instead of wishing feelings (like anxiety) would go away, practice allowing them.
8. Hold firm boundaries
All feelings are welcome, but all actions are not. Be a sturdy leader in your home by teaching this. For example say, “You can feel angry, but I won’t let you hit.”
9. Stop yelling and snapping
The reason you yell is because of the thought you have right before yelling. Uncover this thought, then change it, and you’ll never yell again.
10. Drop the mom guilt
You are a really great mom. Decide to stop feeling like you’re doing something wrong when you haven’t done something wrong.
11. Respect and connect
Before you correct behavior, connect with your child. Show them respect as a human being. There’s no age too young to show respect, even in infancy.
12. Decide who you are
Don’t let society or other people define who you are. You are not an “angry mom.” You are a kind, loving, playful, connected mom. You get to create your own identity. Do it on purpose.
13. Create positive identities for your kids
Practice telling your kids what you want to believe about them using positive “you are” statements. You are kind, you are smart, you are resilient, etc.
14. Stop the comparison trap
What other moms do is none of your business. Your job is to like you and focus on the mom you want to be. Redirect your brain back to you when it wanders.
15. Create family values
Society will have you valuing doing the most activities and being the busiest. By creating family values on purpose, your family will avoid this and have better relationships.
16. Focus on what you can control
Trying to control your kids, your spouse, your in-laws, what’s going on in your neighborhood, or at work will make you miserable. Stop it.
17. Stop worrying
Worrying feels useful in motherhood, but it’s not; it just keeps you stuck. Shift out of worry and decide how you want to think and feel so you can show up in a more helpful and positive way.
18. Plan and get organized
In the moment, it’s hard to make the best decisions for your future because the brain wants immediate gratification. Through planning, you can override this. Plan what you want to do and follow through.
19. Journal from your Future Self
Your brain will repeat the past because that’s what’s easiest. To have a different future, journal from the future you want to create.
20. Become HER
You can change your life from living on autopilot to becoming the woman and mom you want to be. Decide who you want to become in the future and live into her. You are made for greatness.
** Be sure to take this list to go by downloading the free guide here: How To Become The Mom You WANT To Be.
