10 Ways I Treat Motherhood Like A High Performance Job

Welcome to Mom On Purpose, where it’s all about helping moms overcome challenges and live their best lives. My hope is by being here, you are more inspired to become the mom you are made to be. I’m Natalie, your host, a wife, boy, mom, dog, mama, Chicagoan, and former lawyer turned professionally certified coach. If you’re here to grow, I can help. Let’s go.

Hello, my beautiful friends. Welcome to the podcast. I am so glad to be here with you today. I treat motherhood like a high performance job, and I love that it makes such a difference in my everyday life. And I first started doing this a few years ago and I’ve been doing it ever since. I recently was talking about it on Instagram and TikTok and the TikTok Post did really well. I continue to get a lot of engagement on this post, just moms saying how helpful this was.

And I thought, you know, I need to do a podcast on this. So if you want to find the post over on TikTok, it’s mom.onpurpose, just like it is on Instagram. But I thought it would be really fun to talk about the ways that I treat being a mom, like a high performance job, and my experience as a former lawyer as well as a CFP. And then, you know, ultimately a CEO of my business. I have so much leadership experience and I don’t talk about it on here, but I also coach a lot of women at really high levels, executive women with leadership. So I took my leadership experience and my leadership skills from my professional life and applied it to motherhood and it changes everything because instead of clock watching, instead of feeling, you know, so drained instead of feeling like motherhood is happening to me, kind of that victim mentality that I definitely was in at the very beginning, I really feel in my power, I feel empowered, I feel confident.

There’s this inner self-trust and this inner knowing. And of course I have my stuff. It’s not all rainbows and daisies, but I just have to say the way that I approach motherhood is different. It feels so much better and easier and more fulfilling. It truly is like a high performance job. I also created a framework for you called Mom, Like It’s Your Job if you are interested in that. It is kind of like, if you want to get a taste of my work, it’s only $25. You can do that over at momonpurpose.com/job but it’s really designed for you to have a specific practice to mom like it’s your job. So, because this is one of the most highly requested topics that I coach on, I thought it would be awesome to share the specifics with you. And in that framework specifically, I talk about creating success standards.

So it’s very different than what I’m going to share with you in this post. This post is obviously, you know, free content on social media and now it’s going to be on this podcast. The, the class, the framework that you get is complete with a toolkit guide and questions for you to ask yourself and success standards so that you can step into motherhood as a leader. It’s so much about your own personal growth and your own leadership. And I guess let me bring it home practically. I was just coaching someone actually, she’s one of, my mastermind clients and I was on a private coaching call with her and she has embodied this so beautifully. And one of the examples that she was talking about was how she used to get so flustered and frustrated and kind of overwhelmed at bedtime with her kids and she doesn’t anymore.

And it’s because of the journaling that she’s done. It’s because of how she has visualized and journaled and changed her mindset about the expectations that she has for nighttime. She can feel calm even though, you know, her kids are being kids at night, we all know the witching hours. So it’s not just, you know, a leadership in general, it’s leadership specifically. It’s you feeling empowered as a mom, changing you internally so that the very practical benefits are you’re calm when there’s chaos at nighttime or you know, you don’t have this self doubt, this mom guilt, this sense of, oh my gosh, am I failing my kids? Am I damaging them? And, and all of these worries. You just have this inner peace and this inner knowing and it really starts from doing this work. And Mom Like It’s Your Job is just one of my favorite frameworks I’ve ever taught. If you are in the Mom On Purpose Membership, do not purchase this because it is part of the intentional parenting class. The Intentional Parenting class is an amazing class where I taught many different things, including the Mom Like It’s Your Job framework. So this is just one framework that I teach that I absolutely love members. You can get it inside your portal if you want a taste of doing this work and you want to mom like it’s your job, I 10 out of 10 recommend it. Okay, with that. Now I want to share with you the specific ways that I treat being a mom, like a high performance job. Number one is I get ready every day with hair and makeup and in a nice outfit. So I feel my best now nice outfit for the role, not a fancy dress or a suit.

I am in jeans, nice denim, high quality denim, and a nice top. Even though yes, I might get a little dirty, I might get some spit up here and there. I still feel my best when I do my hair. When I put a just a little bit five minutes of makeup on, I put my jewelry on for sure. I feel so much better. It’s just like if I was going into the office, I would not roll out of bed, throw on sweats and walk into the office. When I work from home, I don’t roll out of bed and look like a disheveled mess. It’s really hard to perform at your best when you are just kind of sloppy, for lack of a better word. And this is one that got so many comments everyone was saying yes. Number one is like, it’s such a game changer to just get ready for your day.

So if you’re not doing that, it’s kind of like the low hanging fruit, 10 outta 10 recommend. Number two is I hold myself accountable to having a good attitude. This makes such a difference, and I take it so seriously. Every day when I am getting ready in the morning, I am pumping myself up. I’m listening to a good podcast, some coaching an audio book. And oftentimes after that I listen to a song that gets me really energized and I don’t have this false sense that I’m going to go down and everyone else is going to have a good attitude and be energized too. I know that 50 50 chance it’s going to be chaos when I go downstairs and that’s okay. I’m, I’m here for it. I really do think about having a good attitude is just so important for me to do the job that I want to do.

Number three is I evaluate how I’m doing based on things I can control. This is so important. This is really what the Mom Like, It’s Your Job Framework is all about just this number alone. So, so often we base whether we are doing a good job as a mom on things outside of our control. Like if my kids are happy, if my kids are getting a good grade, if my kids are making the team excelling in their chosen sport, whatever it is, then I am doing a good job as a mom. And that is a recipe for disaster because you then equate their outcomes with your happiness. It leads to people pleasing on the behalf of your kids. And it also feels very disempowering for you because you’re on this like emotional rollercoaster trying to control your kids so that you can feel like you’re doing a good enough job.

So instead of doing that, what I suggest doing is deciding on success standards that you want to evaluate yourself on. So for example, when I am coaching my leadership women, the women who I help in leadership roles, I will often ask them what the standards are, what the benchmarks are, what the expectations are for the role that they are in. Oftentimes, they are given by a superior, and if not, we figure them out together. And that way at the end of a year when there’s an evaluation, there’s never a surprise. Like you should never go into an evaluation for a job, not knowing what to expect. You should be evaluating yourself all along the way and having conversations, knowing how you’re doing it should not be a surprise. The same is true for being a mom. I just think this is such a game changer.

So for example, I want to make sure I keep my kids safe. I want to hold boundaries, I want to validate feelings. There are, I don’t know, upwards of 10 standards that I hold myself to, and then I can evaluate how I’m doing based on those things. It is so much more empowering for me as a mom to know that whatever my kids are going through, I can help and support them, but I don’t make that mean I’m doing a bad job for their sake. I support them in such a better way when I give them emotional space to have a challenge. If I think something’s gone terribly wrong because they have a challenge and then I’m trying to fix it, I go into fix it mode. They don’t feel like they can really share what’s going on. And it’s just, again, it’s not a win for me.

It’s not a win for them. Makes everyone’s life harder and a little bit more miserable. So evaluating how I’m doing based on things that I can control my own success standards. Number four, I coach myself so my mind stays sharp. I have a tendency to fall into self-pity and the victim mentality, and I make sure I coach myself out of that. If I even sniff self-pity, I coach myself out of it. Now I allow disappointment and sadness and the emotions that I want to feel, but I do a pretty dang good job now on catching myself in any sort of victim mentality thinking that my life is happening to me. Like motherhood is happening to me almost in the moment. If my brain goes to, I have to, like, that’s just not a part of my vocabulary. I just nip it in the bud and I remind myself, oh no, this is exactly what I want to be doing.

Especially, you know, four to 8:00 PM let’s call it like that witching hour, the prefrontal brain is more tired. It’s just harder, it’s harder to manage your mind. And so to have some go-to thoughts for myself to redirect, to, to remind me like, this is, this is hard and it’s supposed to be hard, and it’s exactly what I want to be doing because it is what I’m doing and I don’t have to do any of this. It’s so empowering to know that there’s just this sense of self-assuredness that makes motherhood so much better with this type of mindset. And for all the challenges that come up, having these tools, these mindset tools really help me stay sharp and present and playful and fun and having a good attitude regardless of whatever is going on. Number five is I stick to routines, but I stay flexible and adjust as needed.

So I’m a big routine queen. I like to have my routines and I find them to be really helpful, but I’m not rigid in my approach. So for example, I might say, okay, we only do screen time on Fridays and Saturdays, but if the boys are sick for example, then I’m going to allow for a little bit more. And I’m not going to stress over it or make it mean I’m doing a bad job or anything like that. Another example might be, you know, our morning routine. We’re pretty strict about that in a like a helpful way. But if anything isn’t helpful, if, you know, I’m just sort of making this up now, but let’s say one of my kids woke up and just was having really big feelings, having a big meltdown, and we needed to adjust our morning routine, I would totally do that.

I would not be rigid in my approach, but I do generally have routines that I stick to, and I just make space for flexibility given the nature of the job. Number six is I plan with a very family focused approach, keeping priorities and values at the forefront. So I have a class inside the Mom On Purpose Membership that is so popular. It’s about creating your purpose and identifying your priorities. It’s one of the most talked about classes in there. People rave about it. And it really is life changing because it trickles down into your everyday life. I don’t think you can really plan your day until you know what your priorities are and your priorities need to be aligned with your purpose. And that’s really how I plan everything. It starts at the top with my purpose being to grow into motherhood. Right now motherhood is my purpose.

And from there I have priorities. Number one is my family, and number two is my business and my clients. And so when I have those values and priorities aligned, it makes things so much easier because then it, it trickles down to the micro level with planning daily outings, planning kids’ activities, and balancing that with taking care of the home and just, you know, fun for the family and my own self-care and just the way that I want to live my life when I, you know, do this intentionally and utilize these tools, it does make planning so much easier. Number seven is I prepare for hard moments. I practice calm scripts in advance. There is something so life-changing about journaling, planning on your kids, having a meltdown, having hard big feelings, having a hard time expecting them to struggle. And then in your mind, you know exactly how you’re going to think and how you’re going to feel when you do that journaling process.

And it’s like what I refer to Dr. Joe Dispenza calls it future memories. You’re training your brain to see a different reality that can be your reality in the future. Because on default, your brain will see the reality of the past. It’s like, oh, I don’t want to do the four to 8:00 PM tonight. It’s going to be so hard, I’m going to get frustrated and probably yell and they’re going to, you know, do what kids do. And you’re sort of dreading it, but you’re imagining what’s happened in the past. You’re predicting that for the future. What I teach you how to do is stop that and predict something much more helpful and powerful. And that’s what I do for myself. So I expect, you know, hard moments. I expect transitions and tantrums and I practice being calm. I imagine myself being calm in those moments. And it really is life changing.

This year number eight has been all about my health. Physically I have lost the weight. Many of you have taken my course and you love it, which is awesome. How to lose, how I lost 50 pounds in four months after having my third baby, it feels like so long ago. And it, it was just this first part of the year. And, but aside from that, I’m really focused on how my body feels. And just like any high performance job, I want to make sure I fuel my body with food that supports my energy. And this year specifically, I have gone all in on minimizing sugar, maintaining my ideal weight. And right now I’m kind of doing this strength-training journey as well. I just think about how I want to perform and show up, and I want to take care of myself mostly for myself and the person I want to be.

But then it also has that ripple effect on my family, which is amazing. Number nine, I study parenting. I take it so seriously, almost like continuing education for a high performance job, just as an attorney or a CFP, I had my continuing education. I kind of think of it like that. I like to work on things that I care about, not because something is wrong. So for the past five plus years, I have listened to books. I have consumed content, I have taken courses and programs, and all of the parenting knowledge that I’ve gained in the last five years has really helped me find my own parenting style. And then of course, I’m professionally trained as a coach and I combine all of my tools with my parenting knowledge, and it really works so well together. And I take it seriously. I, I enjoy it and I care about it because again, right now it is, my main job.

Number 10, and this again, is in the MomLike It’s Your Job course to evaluate, to evaluate what’s working, what’s not, and what to try next. So for example, I didn’t have a screen time rule for my kids and my family. And then I went down to screen time only on Fridays. And then I recently decided, okay, I actually want to make it Fridays and Saturdays because it felt like we were trying to cram too much TV in on Fridays. And I didn’t like that. And my kids are a little bit young still for, you know, Friday night movie night. So I thought, let’s make it Friday and Saturday. And we pretty much watch the same amount, but it just feels a little bit better. And I say that because oftentimes we think as moms, as soon as we make a rule, we have to, you know, stay with that rule. We have to stick to it, we have to keep it.

And I think that comes from thinking that there’s one right way. And as mom, you know, we should know that one right way. And even our kids infer that. And I love to tell my kids like, I have no idea. I don’t know. I want to find out. I want to figure it out. I know I’m capable of figuring it out, but I have no clue right now. And I think that that is so important. I take myself off the pedestal. Yes, I am the leader along with my husband of our family, but it’s sort of like working for a boss who is a know-it-all and who doesn’t take feedback from the employees. No one wants to work for that boss. Instead, yes, you want to work for a boss who still makes decisions, but that boss is listening and respectful. And here’s what you have to say.

Even if it’s not always a yes, you feel seen and heard by that boss. That’s kind of like the parent. I want to be, like I said, momming, like it’s my job. And having the parallels with leadership in corporate, in my profession as an attorney and CFP to the leadership that I experience in parenting, it is so similar. It’s crazy. And then it, I just go back to, oh yeah, of course, because they’re personal development journeys, all of them, they are such growth journeys and I’m just, gosh, so grateful for it. So there you have it my friends, these are the ways that I am really focusing on treating motherhood like a high performance job. Think about for you and your role as a mom and how you can think about it like a job. And if you think about yourself as a leader, how that shifts your energy and what you might change in your life.

Again, this is not prescriptive, this is really just how I treat being a mom, like a high performance job. One thing that I didn’t mention here that I definitely could have included in the original posts was that I call myself the chief culture officer. And I love thinking about leadership as setting the tone and the culture. And I like to think about myself doing that for the family. Now of course, I can’t control my kids’ attitudes and how they show up, but I can control mine. One of my clients calls herself the CFO, the Chief Family Officer. I love this. How amazing is that? Shout out to you. You know who you are and you might think about the title you want to give yourself. You might want to think about some other elements and how there are parallels between motherhood and your role as mom and the role you have in your job or in a past job if you’re a stay-at-home mom, or even if you’ve never worked in corporate.

I just find these parallels to be so helpful, so, so, so helpful. We all get what it’s like to have a job to even just think about having a job. Even if you just became a, stay at home mom right away. I have a good friend of mine who’s a business owner and she’s never worked in a traditional job setting, but she certainly knows what it’s like to, you know, “have a job”. We all get that. And you don’t need me to tell you that. So just think about the stereotypes of a job, right? We have the title, we have expectations, we have, how do we show up, right? What do we wear? Are we smiling? Are we connecting with others? Do we have good attitude or are we dreading our job? Are we clock watching? Are we rolling outta bed in sweats?

Are we are talking nasty behind the company’s back? Whatever it is, it’s like that’s not the kind of person I want to be regardless of what’s going on in the job, because that doesn’t benefit me. I’m not saying every job is the dream job and you might want to leave your job, but how you think about your job matters because that impacts you. So think about how you think about motherhood because that impacts you. And start to think about how you can treat being a mom like a high performance job. And I don’t know about you my friend, but this truly can be some life-changing work. Alright, that’s what I have for you today. Have a beautiful rest of your week. I’ll talk with you next week. Take care.

Thank you for being here and listening. Now, head on over to momonpurpose.com/coaching to learn more about the Mom On Purpose Membership, where we take all of this work to the next level.